What a Tool

When your flashing just doesn’t seem to be working for ya , why not try wearing a high-visibility fluoro-yellow work top? That seems to be the go. Melbourne Police are on the hunt for a tradie who has been dropping his daks and exposes himself to women over the past month.

Tipping Point

Word of warning to would be masturbators who like to use portable toilets to flash their penis at people. If you piss people off enough someone is bound to tip the goddam porta-potty over with you in it. The flasher was trapped with door side down and had to be rescued. Oh and if you were wondering YES he was covered from head to foot in other people’s poop. WARNING- video gross

Special Delivery

Some perv in Sweden has been arrested after he followed a woman home and then stuck his penis through the mail slot in her door. The dude fled like a jack rabbit when she opened it (no, the door silly).  Luckily he didn’t do that at my place or Claudius would have had a ball (pun intended).

Hobby Lobby Flasher

Attention Santa Fe loons, you might want to keep an eye out for the Hobby Lobby Flasher, he’s some random who likes to expose himself in craft stores. The man allegedly walked into the Hobby Lobby, pulled down his pants and went for it in front of two young girls despite the store being full of customers. Knit One, Purl One.

I Want That Struck From The Record!

OMG, how would ya be. A woman who was allegedly flashed by Jason Jones told the court his penis looked like a small bubble. Awkward. The woman said Jones approached her in a van as she was walking  in Hamilton. After she refused to get into the vehicle he exposed himself and as she recalled it was a 2cm bubble “I looked away but it wasn’t much of a penis.” Jones and his partner Maureen Samantha Iti are on trial jointly charged with raping three young women.

Want sauce with that?

New York Subway Flasher Fail

OK, here’s the thing flashers on the New York subway, be real careful who you wave your tackle at, I’m just saying! Yikes.

Corn Oil Flasher At Large

Be warned, he could be slippery

OK people, if you happen to come across Larry D Booker in your travels, be careful he could be slippery. Mr Booker is a known flasher and likes to cover himself with corn oil. He is now wanted by the Kansas City police for  parole violation after he failed to report in to his probation officer, register as a sex offender or bother to enter a treatment program.  Mr Booker has been caught three times in three years doing what he does best whilst lathered in oil. The dry skin excuse failed to impress neither police nor the women he exposed himself to!

More Like Verbal Diarrhoea

OK here’s the thing naked guy in a van, if you are going to flash at people don’t be telling the police it was because you have “explosive” diarrhoea. Hmm, that only works if there is evidence of it! David Todd Napodano was still naked when police arrived at the car park at Lehigh Acres after two women claimed he had flashed them. No sign of any explosive shit!