Dog Takes Words Right Out Of His Mouth

Pooch upstages snowflake to get food.

Did You Say FOOD?

Excuse me waitress but there is a roach in my salad

A waitress at a Chinese restaurant responded to a customers complaint about a roach in his food by promptly picking it up out of his salad and eating it. She then told him “No matter which restaurant you go to, you will always find cockroaches in the food. It is very normal.”  Good to know!!!

Stunned Audience Too Creeped To Clap

What this marketer (really an actress) revealed to the audience left them too stunned to even clap . Frightening and funny.

Delta Airlines Has A Food Terrorist

OMG, needles have been found in 6 turkey sandwiches on four different Delta flights from Amsterdam to the US. The sandwiches , made in Amsterdam, were for business class passengers. Only one person was injured after eating the prickly delight.

Psst Hmm, at least they didn’t eat with forked tongues!!!

Revenge Can Be Bitter

What is up today with all this pooping and peeing people? Richard Bloem is in big doodah after he allegedly broke into his ex girlfriend’s apartment and pissed in her food. According to police Mr Bloem had had a key cut without her knowledge and entered the apartment. At some stage he urinated in a bottle of 2009 Kendall-Jackson Riesling, some half-and-half creamer and a pitcher of Crystal Light before leaving. He now faces 17 months behind bars and a story he wouldn’t want to tell his grandkids!

Want sauce with that?

Oliver Twist Il

Yeah, got food prease!

I’m guessing Kim Jong Il’s birthday celebrations are over as he’s now begging foreign governments for food. Please sir, more? So what to do? The dilemma faced by most countries  is if they do send food to the starving people will it simply end up in a corrupt distribution system. Hmm, might be time to hop onto Facebook North Koreans and get those peaceful protests started.

I Do

Oh boy, you men in India better be on your toes if you decide to marry.Seems women scammers are on the rise. Take for instance some poor groom and his family from Uttar Pradesh who thought everything was friggin rosy after the wedding. Little did they know the bride was cooking up a poisonous concoction. When neighbors noticed the house latched from the outside they went to investigate and found the entire family unconscious.Oh yes, it gets worse, when the family regained consciousness they released they had been friggin fleeced. Cash gone, jewelry gone, valuables gone, bride gone and her whole friggin family gone. Bitch!

Nicholas Cage’s Eccentric Eating Habits

Nicholas Cage professes to only eating animals which he thinks have sex the right way. In Cage’s world fish and chicken have dignified sex, but pigs? Hmm, not so much!  Okie dokie, so how’s about explaining why you ate the real cockroach in Vampire’s Kiss then?

Psst Dear god, if I had to think about how an animal had sex, before eating my food, I’d be a vegetarian or really , really kinky!!!