Tag Archives: found

I Hope It Is Timmothy Pitzen

Timmothy Pitzen has been missing for seven years, presumed dead after his mother ‘s body was discovered in a hotel room. She had left a note saying that Timmothy was safe but no one would ever find him. Well, apparently that is not the case, he has been allegedly found ALIVE. Yesterday a teenager in Kentucky was roaming the streets asking for help. He said he was Timothy and he had been held captive for 7 years and had managed to escape by running across the State line from Ohio into Kentucky. No confirmation the boy is Timmothy but fingers crossed for his father’s sake.

Please note: If you get held hostage and have the slightest window of opportunity… RUN. And I don’t mean run down the block, I mean run as fast as you can for as long as you can until you can find help.  There must be hundreds of missing people around the world trapped in houses, dungeons or sheds. I often think of Madeleine McCann and hope if she is alive she has the opportunity and courage to make a run for it. I also hope there is a special place in hell for the people who take these poor innocent victims.

UPDATE: As suspected he is not Timmothy Pitzen. However, on a positive note, it has put fresh light onto the case.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Japanese Boy Found Alive

The parents of 7 year old Yamato Tanooka will be buying up big at their local toy store  after search teams found the youngster alive  in an abandoned military facility. Yamato had been missing for 5 days after his parents kicked him out of their car in bear infested woods for misbehaving.

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Filed under Well I Never

Stop Looking, Louie The Clown Has Been Found

It is bad enough that Louie the organ playing clown has finally been found but to think it was discovered in the house of a convicted paedophile. It doesn’t bare thinking about. The animatronic clown went missing 7 years ago when the Joyland Amusement Park closed down and it has remained a mystery ever since. Unfortunately, those curious little social media sleuthing Sherlocks didn’t give up their quest to find the creepy friggin clown and when police searched the house of convicted child sex offender , viola, there he was, held captive by another creep.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

The Sausage Has Been Found

Klement's racing Italian Sausage costume has been foundStop looking everybody the missing Klement’s racing Italian Sausage costume has been found. Thank goodness. The 7ft costume called Guido, which features in the Milwaukee Brewers baseball games, was last seen on Feb 16th. The Italian sausage walked out of a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling club then made an unexpected appearance at TJ Ryan’s bar in Cedarburg before heading to The Roadhouse Bar and Grill around midnight. That’s where the lead went cold. However last Wednesday two mysterious men plopped the sausage costume up on a bar stool at the Roadhouse Bar and Grill telling the bartender “You did not see anything,” and promptly skedaddled.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

WWII British “Spy” Pigeon Found in Chimney

Look away animal lovers this is a sad story of stupidity woe. A home owner in England has found a dead WWII British “spy” pigeon in his chimney. Seems the stupid little thing had flown there for a little breather during one of its  top secret missions but was overcome by fumes and keeled. A vital coded message in a capsule was still attached to its wee little leg. The pigeon was on his way to Bletchley Park and to the team working on cracking the Nazi Enigma code. Experts are currently working on deciphering the message to find out what mission the lazy assed bird stuffed up.  Silly, silly pigeon!!!

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Richard III Has Been Found

Stop looking people, Richard III has been found. OK, some bones have been found by archeologists in the location of where they believe he was buried, but bones is a good start. The remains have all the signs of being that of the late king, including the tell tale spinal curvature (he evidently suffered from severe scoliosis) , a dink on his noggin and a barbed arrowhead lodged in his upper back. Hmm, sounds like him. Definitely the winter of his discontent!!!

 

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Filed under Well I Never

You Can Breathe Easier

Attention people the set of lungs found on a sidewalk in LA are not human, repeat, not human. Move on, nothing to see here.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Gross

Stop Looking, G Spot Has Been Found

You know I'm hopeless at directions!!!!

Scientist have finally admitted there is a G-spot. Thank you Dr Ostrzenski!!! The good old doc went searching for it on a 83 year old woman’s corpse and viola, found it. Ironically it’s tear shaped. For those of you who are remotely interested it is located between 3-15mm behind the virginal vaginal wall and is activated by “constant pressure and attention”. Oh and ladies it doesn’t work in the missionary position.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Well I Never

Missing Manatee Mailbox Found

Stop looking everyone, the missing concrete manatee mailbox has been found. OK, it has lost a limb and its head has been bashed in a bit, but it’s back! Evidently police found the manatee in the Yellow Breeches Creek after a annonymous tip off. Since the onwer installed the $1,000 letterbox, it’s been set on fire, whacked with a golf club and dressed up.

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

What Took You So Long?

Cast you minds back about seven years ago when the devastating tsunami washed away thousands of people in Asia. Well, guess what? They have found one of the victims alive. Yes, a now 15 year old girl known as Wati  has been found living on the streets in a nearby city. When the tsunami hit her Indonesian village on Boxing Day, 2004, she was swept away in a wave of water and presumed dead. Somehow she has managed to survive all these years wandering the streets trying to find her way home. When the girl wandered into a cafe in Meulaboh and told her story to staff they tracked down her family despite Wati only remembering her grandfather’s name.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never, You Go Girl!