Tag Archives: france

When Ghosts Go Wild

Ghosts terrorize French familyOh dear, a house full of  ghosts is giving a French family grief. Not happy to share the house, the ghosts have  resorted to throwing things at the family, and by throwing things I mean a chair in the face and a soap tray in the back. It also seems they don’t  like their friends either, a visitor was taken to hopsital after being stoned by one of the angry apparitions. Despite the arrival of an exorcist the family have decided to stay at a campsite while the local
council find them another place to live. Ghosts 1, family 0.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Grubby Restaurant

How would you like your caterpillars cooked?

How would you like your caterpillars cooked?

Egads, an African restaurant in France has been closed after health inspectors discovered a pot of boiling caterpillars in the kitchen. Evidently they are a common source of protein in Africa. They also had to throw out 300lbs of meat because they could not produce certificates showing the origin of it. Hmm, probably horse 😯

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Haunted House Anyone?

Want to buy a house for 1 Euro? It’s all yours, here… Oh, there’s only one little catch, in the 1950’s the owners were  murdered and now it’s friggin haunted. So if you can handle random knocks on windows, strange voices and moving objects, knock yourself out bidding on the French version of eBay.

Boo!

Boo!

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Rich Vacate France In Droves

Where did everybody go?

Where did everybody go?

A mass millionaire exodus is unfolding in France, with actor Gerard Depardieu being among the first to seek citizenship in Russia to avoid the 75% tax the new government is imposing on the rich. Since socialist Francois Hollande was elected to power, over 400 properties worth in excess of million dollar  have been put on the market, while thousands of Frances’s elite  have withdrawn their money and skeedaddled to tax friendlier countries like Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Ireland and Britain. Oh dear, la France will become like la Greece ….. la screwed!

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Apocalypse Free Zone Is In France

Small village in France is a doomsday free zone

Hi, make yourself at home

For all of you worried about the Mayan doomsday prediction, I have some good news. Seems a little farming community in Bugarch, France, is an apocalypse free zone. Yes siree, those lucky enough to be there on the 21st December will be spared, thanks to the aliens living in the mountains. Yes, there aliens in them there hills. UFO watchers and Armageddon tourists have been flocking to the town after hearing word of “The land of immortality.” and the mountain of aliens. You still have time loons, you still have time.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Murder In The French Alps

A British family holidaying in France have been gunned down in their car in what appears to be a professional hit. The family including a mother, father , two children and their grandmother were in a BMW heading to Saint Jorioz camping site when someone opened fire on them. A local man riding his bike, who may have witnessed the bloodbath, was also gunned down and killed. Two children aged 8 and 4 were found alive. The eldest girl is suffering from three gunshot wounds and the youngest was found ,8 hours later, under the legs of her mother who may have fallen on her when she was killed. At least  15 spent bullet casings from an automatic pistol were found at the crime scene. Currently police have no motive for the murders. Both children are being protected by armed police at a local hospital.

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Au Revoir Sarkosy

Au revoir la loser Sarkozy and hello la trouble. Oh dear, poor Sarkozy and his botox beauty Carla, have been convincingly booted from office by Francois Hollande, who says he “dislikes the rich” and wants to preserve France’s “welfare state”. Oh and one of first things he is planning to do is whack a 75% tax on anyone earning more than one million euros. Oh those socialists!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

You Gotta Be La Kidding Me

It took French customs, social security and the police transport division, several months of surveillance of a Paris souvenir shop before they finally made an arrest.Drugs do I hear you say? Tsk, tsk, it was 13 tons of mini Eiffel Towers. Seems the family run souvenir shop were selling them without a permit. Those bastards! Father, mother and son were all arrested.

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Lawyer Blows Himself Up

Hey guys, check out what I got!!!

OK, one more time amateur weapon collectors. When opening a postal package containing hand grenades, proceed with extreme caution, just in case one of them  is live and  goes kaboom!!!! France is now minus one business lawyer after he was blown to smithereens while inspecting his box of goodies in his Paris office. Who the hell sends a live grenade through the mail…oh never mind it’s France!!!!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Does France Have Another Serial Killer?

What was that?

Just when the French thought they had seen the end of crazed serial killers randomly bumping off people, another one pops up. So far there have been 4 victims, randomly shot with a small caliber gun. The killer is said to flee on a motorbike. Sound familiar? Hmm, sounds like the same MO as Mohamed Merah, the Islamic extremist who went on a killing spree last month. Cordon blah!

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