Tag Archives: freezing

Pole Got Your Tongue

freezing (1)A word of warning to anyone experiencing minus degree temps, please don’t be licking no flag poles, especially one in your front yard. Awkward and embarrassing. The poor 12 year old was stuck by her tongue for 15 minutes while her dad plowed snow because she couldn’t scream for help. Her Attempt at pulling it free simply ended with blood.By the time anyone noticed the girl frantically flapping her arms around, the embarrassment had been complete. She is expected to have a swollen tongue for 6 weeks.

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Siberian Cycle Fail

News flash to German cyclist who suffered severe frostbite after attempting to ride through Siberia, yes it is that friggin cold! Sven Riedel decided to cycle some 300km (187 miles) from Ulan-Ude to Lake Baikal despite the temps being -35 degrees Celsius. After riding about 100km, he pitched a tent for the night but was overcome by the friggin cold. If it wasn’t for a local driver who spied the dumbass and persuaded him to get in his car, Sven would have been a human ice block. He later told journos “I didn’t think it would be so cold.” Hmm, have you never watched Hogan’s Heroes? Doctors were worried they would have to amputate a few of his fingers but all’s good, oh,  except for the frostbite on both hands and feet.

Psst I hope he warmed the bicycle seat before getting on…I’m just saying!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Baby It’s Cold Outside

bbbbbitch!

Of  all the friggin ways to get on my blog, riding naked in your undies in freezing temperature on the hood of your girlfriend’s car will pretty much do it. Yes, the 57 year old man from Pittsburgh got into a fight with his 28 year old girlfriend  when one thing lead to another and there he was near naked and screaming at his girlfriend on the hood of the car.  Police are expected to lay charges as soon as they work out what charges to file.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!