Tag Archives: french

Chinese Wine vs French Wine

and our snails taste better too!!!

You know the end of the world is near when Chinese wine beats French wine in a tasting event in China. Hmm, yep I know what you are thinking, they used Chinese experts as judges? Nope, the panel of 10 were made up of half French and half Chinese wine experts. Anywho, the top 4 wines came from China’s northwestern Ningxia region. The best the French could do was a fifth place for their 2009 Lafite Saga. Hmm, I would have the wine analyzed to make sure the Chinese used grapes and not just MSG.

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Is England abandoned a sinking ship?

Pendulum swings like a pendulum do...

David Cameron  is experiencing the French cold shoulder after vetoing a new EU power grab.  Cameron has said no, no, no, to a new  European treaty after they refused to agree to protect City of London if it all goes kaboom! Hmm and lets face it, why would Britain, who is relatively protected from the debt ridden Europe, want to board a sinking ship?

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And The Darwin Award Goes To

A big shout out to the United Nations firearms instructor from France who accidentally shot himself in the thigh during recertification training at a shooting center in Springfield.

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French Sexual Needs Fail

Jean-Louis B is not only wifeless but is now out of pocket $14,000. Seems his ex wife has successfully sued him for failing to fulfill her sexual needs…for 21 friggin years! Hmm, compo for not putting out, how interesting!!! Poor Jean-Louis (51) told the French judge he was often tired and had health problems…..since he was 30?????? The frustrated 47 year old wife finally called the marriage quits and the judge backed up her argument that it was all Jean Louis’s fault!

Psst You watch, I bet old jean-Louis B will be on eHarmony within a week!

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Hey, Isn’t That The Same Name As Your Son?

Sheez, here’s a shocker. A French couple accidentally stumbled across the grave of their son they thought was alive while attending a funeral for another relative. Josiane Vermeersch and Elie Langlet were just leaving the Hellemmes cemetery when a family member noticed a headstone in the paupers area. It read “Olivier Langlet, 1968-2010.” The shocked parents spoke to a local undertaker only to realize it in fact their son’s grave.  The son, who lived less than a mile from them, had died of natural causes in July. A minor tiff within the family had lead to them not speaking. Despite this they want to know why no one was notified.

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Main Course?

Stop looking everyone, the acclaimed French chef Jean-Francois Poinard has been found. OK, he’s been dead in a freezer for two years, but he’s been found. Culprit seems to be his girlfriend Guylene Collober. She let slip to her daughter that “something unfortunate” had happened to him and the daughter immediately contacted police.

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Filed under End Credit, Whoops!

Strip Show On Uluru

No honey, no.Stripping off on top of Uluru, Australia’s most sacred rock, and doing a friggin dance as a “tribute” to Aborigines and their culture aint going win them over. Hmm, you are more likely to get the bone pointed at ya. Alizee Sery, a French exotic dancer, told reporters after her impromptu strip show “What we need to remember is that traditionally, the Aboriginal people were living naked. So stripping down was a return to what it was like.” Oh dear god, SHUT UP.

Psst Thank goodness she wasn’t playing a didgeridoo !

UPDATE : The Central Land Council, who represent the traditional owners of Uluru, want Julia Gillard to deport  Sery. Hmm,  fat chance of that considering all the illegals we  are greeting with wide open arms!

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Insurance Scam Fail

OK, here’s the thing people, if you are going to set up an insurance scam, don’t be assuming the “brown” policeman can’t speak 7 friggin languages. When constable Charanjit Meharu arrived at a suspected home burglary in Calgary the alleged victim was hysterical, claiming she had lost everything. Hmm, then her father rang. She told her father over the phone (in French) that she and her boyfriend had set up the robbery so they could claim the insurance. This while Constable Meharu took notes. When she finally hung up he told her ‘Merci beaucoup.’

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Fishermen Quite Happy To Harpoon Whales and Activists

Ewh ouch. A Greenpeace activist has been harpooned in the leg after trying to free tuna from a commercial fishing net. Silly bugger. In what Greenpeace say was a “non violent” act, they tried to use sandbags to lower one side of the net when angry French fishermen let rip with harpoons and got Frank Huston. He is now in a Malta hospital in a serious condition. The fishing ship, the Jean-Marie Christian VI, was in International waters at the time. Greepeace say they were threatened with knives attached to long poles and  “The tuna fishermen only know brutality: all our militants have are bags of sand to weigh down the nets and free the fish,”. Industrial-scale fishing and harvesting has caused stocks to plunge by up to 80 per cent in the Mediterranean and eastern Atlantic causing the European Union and the United States to back an International trade ban on tuna fished in these waters. Good luck with that, their main customer is Japan.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

What The Hell Happened?

Egads, unless you’re French you probably won’t recognized these two…sheez, what am I saying, no one will recognize them now. In the 1980’s Igor and Grichka Bogdanoff were TV heart-throbs with their own prime time scifi show, now they could have starring roles as aliens. The pair, who are now in their 60’s,  deny ever having plastic surgery, despite looking like the poster children for Botox. Hmm, I had no idea men’s chins dropped in middle age? The twins aren’t new to controversy, during the 1990’s they were accused of plagiarism their best selling book “God and Science” and later they were accused of handing in “hoax” papers to obtain their PhDs. The later became known as the Bogdanov Affair.


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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never