Tag Archives: garden

Gardening Tips

If a cucumber in your garden slithers, don’t pick it up, it is probably a python.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

So That’s Why A Postman Always Rings Twice

You know what I hate? When your postie poops in your yard. I really friggin hate that! A Portland homeowner was so horrified at what he was witnessing from his living room window he grabbed his camera. Don Derfler saw the postman pull down his pants and shit in his garden. That’s one nasty delivery. Postie has been suspended pending an investigation.

Psst Are you all thinking what I am?  How did he wipe his ass?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Baby Bodies in the Backyard

Urgh, imagine buying a house in a quaint little village in France only to discover friggin baby bones in the garden. Seems the previous owner’s wife, Dominique Cottrez, had been hiding her pregnancies, killing the newborns and then burying them in the yard… since 19friggin88. Police have uncovered 8 baby bodies so far from two different houses owned by the couple in Villers-au-Tertre.Village residents are in shock/horror over the discovery, believing them to a quiet, well respected couple not some friggin serial killing baby murderers. Strangely the couple have two grown up daughters.

Psst Oh and all you Miss Maples, police have confirmed the dead babies were all from the same mother and father. Tsk, tsk!

UPDATE : Dominique Cottrez has admitted to suffocating her newborn babies because she didn’t want any more children but didn’t want to ask the doctor for contraception. Oh and she swears her hubby knew nothing about it.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Don’t Mess With The Eyesores

Woman told to remove flowers she had planted in carparkGosh, you do something nice for people and this is what you get for it! Jayne Bailey, who is a garden whiz, noticed that the crappy concrete island in the carpark of her housing estate needed a makeover. The 30 year old cobble stones were coming loose and the weeds made it very unattractive. So she donned on her gardening gloves and went to work beautifying the patch by removing the loose cobble stones and planting flowers and shrubs. Enter the Cornwall County Council letter. Hmm, Mrs Bailey was told in no uncertain words to remove the plants and put the island back to its orginal shitty state or face the wrath of the police for criminal damages.  Oh and have a good day!

All aboard the Nannyville express!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, Thanks For Nothing, You Go Girl!