You know what I hate? When you spend a whopping $306 billion dollars on 4 state of the art warships and they are crap. Bummer Germany. Just some of the problems the first of the four frigates is experiencing ; radar and electronics issues , below par flameproof coating on its fuel tanks and lack of sonar and torpedo tubes. Oh and did I mention listing? Yeah, it list slightly to its starboard side. You wonder how anyone got on the moon!
Tag Archives: germany
Run for your lives it’s a….. A distraught elderly German man rang the cops fearing he had unearthed an unexploded WWII bomb in his backyard. When the police rushed to his house they carefully approached the 40cm long object only to dicover it was a zucchini. Seems a neighbour chucked it over the fence.
Sometimes you just need to eye roll. German police have arrested a father and son after discovering 5000 ecstasy tablets in their car. Hmm, no biggie except….the tablets had Donald Trump’s face on them. Boom, drain the swamp, build a wall and lock them up.
When a Chinese tourist in Germany had his wallet stolen he toddled off to report the incident to police. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the police he found but someone who handed him an asylum application. This set the wheels in motion. He was sent to northwestern Germany and placed in a refugee home. The poor bastard just wanted to have a holiday in Germany, France and Italy but instead sat bewildered in the refugee home for 12 days until he was given access to a translation app.
A German casino (and several streets) was evacuated after reports a rubbish bin in the men’s loo was making suspicious ticking and buzzing noises. A bomb squad unit was deployed and several streets surrounding the casino were also evacuated for fear of a kaboom! The whole incident was called off when the special unit discovered the sus device was not a bomb but …wait for it…. a discarded mechanical penis ring that had its vibration function turned on. Move on, nothing to see here.
Oh dear, it seems Germany has a disgruntled government worker with sticky fingers (no pun intended) or someone with a severe lavatory fetish. Toilet seats in their new interior ministry have gone missing. Yep, the thief removed every single toilet seat , tap and loo paper holders in the building. Two months prior all the taps from the new BND intelligence agency’s headquarters were nicked, which started leaks throughout the building and caused millions of dollars worth of damage. Hmm, you would think they ‘d have security cameras. Hello….man carrying uber toilet seats under his arm…suspicious!!!!!
The city of Hamburg has come up with an ingenious way of pissing on the pissers. The walls of stink that have engulfed some popular night spots (due to men relieving themselves on them) have now been coated with liquid repellent paint. You pee on them and it comes right back at ya.
Oh dear, that’s awkward. A six year old German boy who was playing in his parent’s bedroom accidentally got stuck in their furry handcuffs. Unfortunately, no one could find the key so mum and granny had to escort the young fella to the police station where they had them off in a jiffy. Hmm, I’m guessing there would have been much banter and giggles around a few dinner tables that night.