Tag Archives: germany

Hard To Swallow

Sometimes you just need to eye roll. German police have arrested a father and son after discovering 5000 ecstasy tablets in their car. Hmm, no biggie except….the tablets had Donald Trump’s face on them. Boom, drain the swamp, build a wall and lock them up.

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Filed under They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Lost In Translation

asian-frownWhen a Chinese tourist in Germany had his wallet stolen he toddled off to report the incident to police. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the police he found but someone who handed him an asylum application. This set the wheels in motion. He was sent to northwestern Germany and placed in a refugee home. The poor bastard just wanted to have a holiday in Germany, France and Italy but instead sat bewildered in the refugee home for 12 days until he was given access to a translation app.

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Filed under Whoops!

Royal Flush or just Craps

A German casino (and several streets) was evacuated after reports a rubbish bin in the men’s loo was making suspicious ticking and buzzing noises. A bomb squad unit was deployed and several streets surrounding the casino were also evacuated for fear of a kaboom! The whole incident was called off when the special unit discovered the sus device was not a bomb but  …wait for it…. a discarded mechanical penis ring that had its vibration function turned on. Move on, nothing to see here.

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Filed under Well I Never, Whoops!

Domestikator Hotel

Can you spot the issue?

sex hotel

Come on loons, look closely. The German hotel looks like a couple having sex right?

or is it a couple?

sex_hotel_2

Anywho, the building is part of the annual Ruhrtriennale Festival in Bochum, Germany and is operating as a hotel for VIP guests.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

ToiletGate

Oh dear, it seems Germany has a disgruntled government worker with sticky fingers (no pun intended) or someone with a severe lavatory fetish. Toilet seats in their new interior ministry have gone missing. Yep, the thief removed every single toilet seat , tap and loo paper holders in the building. Two months prior all the taps from the new BND intelligence agency’s headquarters were nicked, which started leaks throughout the building and caused millions of dollars worth of damage. Hmm, you would think they ‘d  have security cameras. Hello….man carrying uber toilet seats under his arm…suspicious!!!!!

 

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Your Pee Don’t Stick

Only a matter of time

The city of Hamburg has come up with an ingenious way of pissing on the pissers. The walls of stink that have engulfed some popular night spots (due to men relieving themselves on them) have now been coated with liquid repellent paint. You pee on them and it comes right back at ya.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Lottery Ticket Win/Lose/Lose

toilet 6For most people winning $547,000 in the lottery would be cause for celebration but not for this German woman. She tore it all up and flushed it down the loo to avoid having to pay a massive nursing home bill racked up by her late hubby. Lose/lose.

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Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing