Heavens to Murgatroyd, when a woman accidentally glued her eyes shut after mistaking her eye drops for super glue her doctor refused to attempt to open them because…wait for it…she didn’t have a job, insurance or money. The best he could do was give her ointment and send her on her way. So for days she sat with her eyes glued shut until media got wind of it and another doctor pried them open. First world problems.
I don't know, something about a vacuum cleaner!
OK, this story seemed to have skipped main media news groups so it’s a few weeks old (OK a few months) but bizarre News reported, a British dwarf accidentally glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner during a performance at the ‘Edinburgh Festival’. Ouch. Evidently part of Daniel Blackner’s (aka “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf”) act was to pull a vacuum cleaner across stage using his penis. However at some stage something broke on the machine and the Demon Dwarf had to use an extra strong glue to fix it prior to a performance. Unfortunately, the impatient Captain Dan didn’t wait for the glue to dry entirely and viola, he spent an embarrassing hour at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary having it removed from his manhood.