Tag Archives: granny

Knit One , Poo One

A British granny , who went to the loo at a shopping centre , didn’t realise they weren’t in operation and got locked in for four days. Luckily for the 82 year old  she had just bought a ball of wool so she spent her time knitting a scarf for her granddaughter. She also had a nice supply of  imperial mints to keep her spirits up. When shocked  workmen  eventually found her she was merrily knitting away. She did confess that the hand dryer came in handy at night to keep her warm.

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Filed under Whoops!

Mummy In Granny’s Attic

Mummy found in granny's atticA word of warning to anyone wanting to rummage in their granny’s attic, beware of the sarcophagus in a corner, just saying. A kid in Germany got a right old boo when he opened one and found a human mummy. When they sent the thing for a CT scan they discovered the corpse had an arrow sticking out of the eye socket. The weirdest thing of all was that the cloth covering the mummy was machine woven and the bones were not from  just from one person. 😯

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Thugs Dob in Granny

Thugs dob in granny

I hate my life

A street full of thugs and “problem families” were LOLing after police went to an elderly woman’s house to demand she turn her Perry Como music down. Seems it was the lowlifes who had rung the police in their campaign of terror against the woman.  The woman, who had cranked up the volume, was trying to drown out the loud music being played by her upstairs neighbors. Residents are angry that police would continually ignore the blantant drug dealings and abuse in the neighborhood  but come rushing when it was a little old lady.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Granny Rage

Friggin Y Gen!!!

Don’t you be messing with elderly drivers in Neshannock if you know what’s good for you. A 74 year old granny got so pissed when another woman beat her to a  parking spot at a shopping center she keyed the offending driver’s car. When the 23 year old woman grabbed her phone to take a photo of the granny’s license plate to report her to police, granny reversed  back into her.   That’s reckless endangerment, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct right there granny.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Don’t Let Granny Go Skydiving

People, don’t let your 80 year old granny go skydiving (unless you are clearly stipulated in her will). Laverne got cold feet just before she jumped so her instructor gave her a nudge and her harness slipped …… arhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Sweet Home Alabama

I thought it looked curdled

A woman in Alabama was arrested after she spiked her grandmother’s milk with camping fuel.The woman and her boyfriend were living at granny’s house, which they also turned into a meth lab, when she got into an argument  and slipped the fuel into granny’s drink.

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It Must Have Been The Sherry In The Trifle, Officer

Oh dear, a 90 year old woman has been caught drink driving in NSW. She recorded a 0.230 during a random breath test and was promptly arrested. Sheez, might want to lay off the sherry gran!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Granny Gets a Do Not Resuscitate Tattoo

British granny Joy Tomkins (81) is so friggin adamant she doesn’t want to be brought back to life if she gets in a medical emergency she has had the words “Do Not Resuscitate” tattooed on her chest. Oh and if she rocks up face down, she has had another tattoo put on her should which reads “PTO” (please turn over). Can’t be too careful. Ooh and the best part it only cost her 5 pounds for the tatt.

Psst Despite all of Joy’s pre-planning , medical officials say the tattoo isn’t legally binding.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, You Go Girl!

Granny Takes A Bullet

Just don't touch my perm dear!

A 92 year old granny from Wales jumped in front of a gunman who burst into a hair salon and took a bullet to the neck. Connie, as she is known, saw Darren Williams about to shoot his estranged wife so she leaped into action to protect her hairdresser.When she was being carted away she began freaking out. She wanted to know where she was shot because she was afraid they would shave her newly done do! Mr Williams, in the meantime, ran into the woods and killed himself.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Would You Be a Dear and Give Me A Lift To The Bank?

Tsk, tsk granny!

You know what I hate? When an elderly woman asks you for a lift to the bank and then proceeds to  rob it. I really friggin hate that! Luke Weimert had no idea when police ordered him and Sandra Bathke out of his car at gunpoint that the little old lady next to him was a bank robber.While Luke had patiently waited outside the bank in his car, the 70 year had been inside pulling a gun on the teller and demanding money. As Luke drove her back to her apartment she calmly talked about the weather and the slippery roads. Seems Sandra was going to use the money to pay for her overdue rent after Luke’s mom (the landlord) gave her an eviction notice earlier that day. She had told Luke she needed a lift so she could withdraw the rent  money from her account. Oh well, now she will have free room and board.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never