A Win For The Donkeys

Apparently, the Greeks have had enough of fat arses on their asses. Yes, the poor Santorini donkeys of Greece are no longer going to have to haul fat tourists around the island. They are banning them…fat tourists, not the donkeys. Fact. If you weigh over 100kg you can’t get on a donkey. It is now law.

Greece Is Up For Grabs

Attention, anyone interested in a slightly used country consisting of 2 mainland peninsulas and thousands of islands? Going rate at present is about $1.2 billion. The up side is , the country has a uber amount of history (mostly in ruins) and beautiful views, the bummer is the 10 million or so occupants  don’t like paying taxes, rent or debts.

Greece has gone and done the unforgivable, proven that the whole Euro experiment was never going to work ….for some countries. Unable to pay their whopping loan, courtesy of  International Monetary Fund, they now find themselves abandoned by the Euro countries, without a brass razoo to their name. Awks. The government might have to dust off the drachma and refloat the worthless currency in order to function. They have already ordered an economic lockdown with banks shut and withdrawals limited to €60 a day at ATMs. But it is all a bit futile as most ATMs are as dry as a day old rusk.

Bulletproof Plan

A teen in Greece shot himself in the foot to impress a girl. That’s no way to go through life son. The 16 year old told police he accidentally shot himself while trying to fend off a home intruder but later admitted it was all a set up to get a girl’s attention. Sheez, some girl!!!

 

Greece Is Clutching At Straws

You know your country is screwed when you have to set up a task force to scour the historical archives looking for unpaid reparations to starve off bankruptcy . Seems Germany may still owe Greece some $7.5 million  for Nazi war crimes . Greece believes they still have the right to lay claim to the unpaid World War II money. Hmm, this could be interesting considering Germany has been the biggest donor of bail out packages for the debt ridden country since Greece’s plummet from the Eurosphere .

Greece Is The Word

The drachma might be making a comeback if all goes well in this weekends Greek election. Bye bye Euro.Yep, Greece maybe the first country to ditch the Euro as it struggles to stay afloat. What will this mean to the rest of the world? A global financial meltdown like no other. What does it mean to Greece? A default on its debts and then possibly  a nice comfy possie at the bottom of the European ladder for eternity.Opa!!! Zeus must be rolling in his grave cloud.

Greek Politics

Remember last week that Greek politician, Ilias Kasidiaris, who punched a female politician on live TV ? Yeah him. Well guess what? He’s friggin suing her for provocation and the TV station for “illegally” restraining him after the show.

A White Cane Anyone?

Eh? Didn't see it coming!!!

Oh those Greeks!!! A recently elected mayor on the island of Zakynthos has discovered that quite a few of his constituents have been in on an elaborate scam. About 600 of them have been falsely declaring themselves blind so they can collect a nice monthly cheque from the government. Hmm, that’s about 2% of the population and include restaurant owners, shop keepers, farmers and even taxi drivers. Seems authorities had been turning a blind eye for over 10 years to those faking their claims. Now the spoil sport mayor (who happens to also be a lawyer) has ceased all benefit payments so they can thin out the blind herd. The crackdown has also come at a price, with 50 of the so called blind hurling eggs and yoghurt at the now unpopular major. Hmm, so does being blind drunk count?

Want sauce with that?

This Better Be A Saint Mister!

What do we have here?

Oh my lord, a monk has been detained in Greece after a dead nun was found in his luggage. OK, “skeletal remains”, but she was definitely dead. The monk claims he was just transferring her bones to a monastery in Cyprus because she was a saint. However it was later discovered that the nun had died about 4 years ago and was not recognized as a saint. Hmm, awkward. Despite the raised eyebrows, the monk has been released and charged with theft and desecrating the dead. Oh and suspended from his monk duties for three months.

Beggars Can’t Be Choosers

One chair fits all!

Sheez, you know when Greece is broke when their nation’s largest government health insurance provider is no longer gonna pay for special footwear for diabetes patients because its cheaper just to amputate their feet. Oh yeah, bless!

Pot Calling The Kettle

Barclays have asked their research analysts to quit using the acronym for the five European countries Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece and Spain in their notes. Hmm, seems they have an issue with using PIIGS when referring to the five fiscally f***ed nations.