Tag Archives: guidelines

Out On A Limb

You know what’s a bitch? When teachers refuse to help a five year old stuck in a tree for health and safety reasons but dob in the passerby who eventually helps the little snowflake down . The little boy climbed the 20 ft tree and then refusing to budge so the teachers followed the guidelines by leaving him up there while they watched from inside the school. That’s when Kim Barrett spotted him and gave him a hand down. Enter head teacher from Manor school in Melksham.Instead of thanking the good Samaritan she was informed the school had rung the police for trespassing.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Have You Read Your Health and Safety Guidelines Yet?

Falalalalalala

Thank you Nanny State and Eccesiastical Insurance.  They have been working especially hard this year to produce  the “guide to carol singing”  so we don’t have the tragedies of Christmas pasts. You know, when our precious little snowflakes sang in the middle of the road and kaboom! Or when  little missy’s hair ignited from an unprotected candle flame. The four page leaflet is a sure fire way to guarantee your little sprog  will return home safely this festive season!

Psst I must say I was a little disappointed it glossed over some vital carol singing hazards such as “how to dodge a bullet without dropping your candle” or “how to disarm someone coming at you with a knife.” and the all time classic ” How to cope with rejection when people shout at you to ‘Shut the f*** up or I’ll call the cops'”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Nanny State, Thanks For Nothing