Tag Archives: health and safety

Mary Wears a Hard Hat

ass 2Health and safety sucks in Wales. An 8 year old kid who is playing Mary in a Nativity play will have to wear a hard hat when she rides on the donkey. Seems the owner of the donkey has his hands tied due to health and safety rules. Sheez, lucky the real Mary didn’t fall and crack her noggin or she would be suing… oh wait, never mind.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wrong, Well I Never

Kung Fu Panda

It looked like an enormous piece of bamboo. My Bad?

How friggin slow would you have to be to get bitten by a panda? I mean, hello? Don’t they just sit there on their lazy assed behinds chomping on bamboo for goodness sakes? Hmm, evidently not. Health and safety are friggin freaking after a panda, yes you heard me, a panda, bite and clawed at a zookeepers leg at a California zoo. Bai Yun, the bitch, attacked the keeper after she wandered out of her pad when someone forgot to secure the safety barrier.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt

Cold Comfort

We interrupt this broadcast to make an important announcement….breast milk ice cream is OK to eat lick. Yes, the London Ice cream parlor has been given the thumbs up to go back to selling their $22 a scoop Baby Gaga breast milk ice cream.  Seems health and safety are happy with the milk screening. Now all the ice cream parlor has to worry about is Lady Gaga suing their asses off!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

That Could Leave A Sour Taste In Your Mouth!

I have what????

Oh boy, remember the Baby Gaga ice cream made from breast milk? Hmm, yeah about that, seems the British Health and Safety have freaked out a little and have confiscated it due to health concerns. Hmm, who knew viruses such as hepatitis can be passed on through breast milk. Golly gosh, it’s enough to give you a stiff upper lip!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Swimming Pools a Fire Risk

Putting out another pool fire mister?

Hello Health and Safety, banning paddling pools because they are a “fire risk” is taking the whole Nanny State thing a little too far don’t you think? While officials are banning the 4 kidddie pools at a block of flats because the housing association in Romford say it might get in the way of engines, firefighters are branding the whole thing ridiculous. Hmm, yeah because with their trucks, they’ll simply drive over the little friggin snowflakes if they get in the way.Kidding people. They say the water would come in handy if a fire broke out.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Nanny State, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing

They Want To Die Complete

OK Loons, you might have to help me out on this one. Two British men, who both had their legs amputated, are furious that they weren’t allowed to keep them. Gareth Ferrin and Robert Brownlow both wanted to have their legs embalmed so they could keep them at home and later have them placed in their coffins when they died. However the Leicestershire National Health Service said no friggin way and had them incinerated. Both legs were removed due to blood poisoning and were considered a health and safety risk. So, should they have had the right to keep their legs?

Psst Handy at Halloween.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Well I Never

Death by Jelly Bean Machine

Ewh ah, a factory worked has been slowly crushed to death after he jumped into a jelly bean machine without turning it off to investigate a problem. It is believed Martin Pejril, originally from Czechoslovakia, could hardly speak (or understand) English. The machine in Britain’s largest confectionery company was notorious for getting jammed but a series of blunders led to the tragic death (starting with not turning the damn thing off). After Mr Pejril jumped into the machine it re-started after a few seconds however another worker who realized he was inside the machine tried to help but pressed the wrong button. Mr Pejril was crushed between two large heavy rotary arms. Despite there being a large warning sign over the machine Tangerine Confectionery were fined £300,000 for breaching health and safety laws.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, Whoops!