Tag Archives: hiding

Safe Keeping

fart

Ah, that’s a relief

Seems some crims in the US are using their butts as the hiding place of choice for stolen goods. Take the drunk fool from Pennsylvania who crashed his car and was taken to hospital for x-rays. The doctors found a bag of synthetic marijuana, a socket for a wrench, four bracelets, four necklaces, and 11 ladies rings lodged up his bum. Seems he had been out robbing houses before his kaboom.

10 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Was Lord Lucan Living In South Africa?

No shit!

Could the Lord Lucan mystery finally be solved? A woman is claiming that Lord Lucan fled Britain after he became the number one suspect in  the murder of his children’s nanny Sandra Rivett in 1974 and went a hiding in South Africa. The woman, who wants to remain anonymous, claims that Lucan’s gambling buddy the late John Aspinall helped hide him. Aspinall also organized several special trips for Lucan’s kids to visit South Africa (where Lucan saw them but didn’t meet them). OK, loons, don’t hold your breath, there have been numerous false sightings of the elusive Lord over the years, including him being a member of the Mucky Duck Bush Band , an Aussie MP who was also coincidentally was trying to fake his own death, a hippy living in Goa and a Kiwi living in a Land Rover. If this report is correct Lord Lucan died somewhere between the 1990’s-2000.

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Filed under Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

How To Catch A Fugitive in a Cornfield?

How do you find a criminal hiding out in a Kankakee cornfield? Bring out the the friggin combine and start harvesting whilst police set themselves up around the perimeter and wait, that’s how. Yep, it took 90 minutes but Daniel Thomas eventually came running out of the field begging to be arrested.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, You Go Girl!

Yvonne The Cow Is Still Hiding in The Bavarian Forest

Yvonne the cow, has became and internet sensation after she bolted from a slaughterhouse and hid in a Bavarian forest. The cow has been on the run for three months and shows no signs of giving up. Hell, I wouldn’t either after police ordered the poor thing shot on sight after she leaped in front of  their car and they called her a “public hazard”. Despite  helicopters, infrared cameras and even a friggin “cow whisperer” the bovine has not been found (despite cow paddy sightings). Yvonne has been decribed as quick as a weasel and now has her own Facebook page.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, You Go Girl!

Drop Something?

My bad?

OK honey, sweetie, darl, when you are arrested it ain’t wise to lie about the bag of  Xanax you have hidden in your genital area. Elizabeth Progris had just been booked into the Martin County jail and was taking a shower when a deputy noticed a clear bag drop from her twat. The pills were later identified as generic Xanax.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Illegals Hide in A Punk Band’s Speakers

I wish I was a punk rocker with illegals in my speakers. What the? Members of  a British punk band were arrested for human trafficking friggin illegals in their speakers after returning from a tour in Europe. The three musos, Ben Waldock, Josh Reed and Ben Dowling from Criminal Mind were stopped and searched as they drove through Dover border security. Four Vietnamese immigrants were found crammed into the band’s speakers. After being held in cells for 9 hours the band was released with no charge. Seems the band’s Czech driver was behind the little smuggling operation.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Hiding a Cell Tower For Dummies

That should be nice!

Hmm, OK, I’ll play along. The township of Montclair are planning to build a cell tower and then disguise it as a turn of the century smokestack. That’s right guys, create a totally different kind of  eye sore that is only slightly more  aesthetically pleasing. Brilliant.  The townsfolk aren’t too happy about the 105ft tower being erected in the area because of potential health risks but council thinks if they disguise it as a smokestack they’ll forget it even exists! The deal is expected to bring in $2.5 million over the next 25 years. Hmm, so that’s like $100,000 a year. Geez, how much of that will be swallowed up in building the fake smokestack?

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never