Come on, this hide and seek is getting boring!
Seems our mysterious black panther is on holidays. The latest panther sighting was in Bascharage, Luxemburg, this week by a woman out walking. Hmm, maybe it was looking for tax free liquor? The slippery little beast was seen a few months back in the Ardennes region near Belgium by a group of hikers.The tracks found at the site suggested it was a very, very large cat. Prior to that, the black panther was seen roaming around in France, England and Australia. That puddy cat sure gets around!
Hmm, I wonder if they wouldn't mind delivering a pizza?
OK, here’s the thing you goddamn yuppie, generation X and Y, friggin hikers , you do not and I repeat do not use your “personal locator beacon” because the friggin water you found tasted a little salty. The group of men and their teenage sons were attempting to hike the Royal Arch Loop in California when they pressed the panic button, not once, but three times resulting in a scramble of helicopters and rescue parties to the canyon. Problem? They were concerned that the water that they found could be unsafe because it tasted a tad salty. Hmm, seems it is an ongoing problem for rescue teams as technology makes it so much easier for completely inexperienced idiots to venture into the wilderness and be able to call for help on a whim. Thank god for grizzlies!
Psst Rescuers now refer to these GPS devices as “Yuppie 911”
2nd Psst Please note, Baby Boomers were deliberately left out of this post because they are too friggin old to even consider hiking and besides, they spawned the new generation!