OK loons, no need to panic just yet but NASA have just announced they have discovered 114 new “near earth objects” with 10 being asteroids that could potentially kaboom us. NASA have released a video showing all the potential death rocks but you know what? It was so boring I didn’t bother.
PSST Evidently, foil hats wont save us.
Forget the fiscal cliff we have bigger things to worry about. Seems there is some enormous friggin asteroid heading straight for us with a 1 in 63,000 chance of a direct hit. Heavens to Murgatroyd . NASA says the 400 meter asteroid has a a kaboom force of 2000 atomic bombs and a danger rating of 1 out of a possible 10 on the Torino Impact Hazard Scale but we all know they would never tell us the truth. Anywho, we have until 2032 before potential kaboom, so I suggest we all start digging ourselves asteroid shelters. Hmm, yep I’m guessing fibbing is the best option, as I couldn’t cope with 19 years of mass hysteria…… AND don’t expect Bruce Willis to come to our rescue, he’ll be 77 .
That defunct German satellite is hurtling to earth as we speak. It should be here within hours so keep your eyes peeled loons. There should be about 30 pieces coming at you at about 450kms (280miles) an hour. But as you were Aussies, Europeans and Africans, it’s not expected to hit us. Phew!
Psst Hey Harold Camping, you might want to stay indoors!