Tag Archives: homeless man

Rabbit Resuscitation Anyone?

Rabbit resuscitated after being thrown in riverWhen some jerk threw a homeless guy’s pet bunny over the Dublin bridge into the Liffey it looked like the rabbit was a goner. But John Byrne, who had been living on the streets since he was 14 , didn’t hesitate in jumping in after his beloved pet, Barney. When John finally got to the poor rabbit he discovered Barney  had stopped breathing so he swam to a ledge under the bridge and gave him mouth to mouth. Barney eventually spluttered back to life. As for the evil doer who threw the bunny into the Liffey, he got 4 months detention.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Lions and Tigers and Zombies , Oh My.

Remember the dude who ate the face off the homeless guy after taking bath salts? Yeah well about that. Seems the toxicology results are in and …oh no…he had only marijuana in his system. Run!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Scary

Holding Breath Contest Fail

Um, no, I don’t think the excuse that a woman drowned during a “holding breath” contest is going to hold up in court homeless guy. Especially as you told police you think you may have held the woman’s head under water too long. That’s no contest, that’s cheating!

Want sauce with that?

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Homeless Man Inherits a Fortune

Max Melitzer is one damn lucky homeless man. He’ll be packing up his shopping trolley and ditching the cardboard box for the good life. He’s just inherited a shit load of money from his brother. A private investigator has been searching the streets and abandoned storage sheds around Salt Lake City looking for Max to tell him, the good news.

Psst I hope his brother isn’t Nigerian?

Want sauce with that?

11 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

No Pockets?

Oh my, a homeless man from Florida who was arrested and thrown in jail had been hiding 30 items in a condom up his butt. Police, doing a routine search of cells, noticed a piece of condom sticking out of Neil Lansing’s rectum. When removed they discovered it contained pills,matches, a cigarette, a lip balm container, a pharmacy receipt, a coupon, lip balm, unused condom and an empty syringe (with eraser covering the needle).

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Fastest Way To Wake Up A Homeless Man

You know what I hate? When you are fast asleep on a subway and a rat runs up your leg and gives you a big sloppy went one on your face. I really hate that!

Psst I wonder if the homeless dude has an incredible voice?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Twighlight Has A Lot To Answer For!

Team Dumbass

Sometimes it truly sucks to be a vampire, especially when a homeless man refuses to give you blood AND mocks you. How infrigginconsiderate! When would-be vampires, Aaron Homer and Amanda Williamson, were teased by homeless dude, Robert Mayley, when they asked to suck his blood the pair stabbed him. That’s an aggravated assault charge right there and an increase chance of getting HIV!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Naked Man in a Cincinnati Library Alert

When police searched Darrell Bess, after he was discovered naked in the men’s room of a Cincinnati Library, they found a 4lb chunk of cheese (presumed stolen from Silverglade’s Cheese & Sausage) and two knives in his bag. He was later charged with public indecency, carrying a concealed weapon, knowingly trespassing, theft and receiving stolen property. Oh come on people, the man’s homeless, give him a hot meal and some clean clothes and send him on his way.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Calling Sandra Bullock To Times Square

After years of homeless people pulling up pavement in Times Square, social workers say they are down to only one now. Known as Heavy, he is officially the last of the homeless people left in New York City’s famous entertainment district.Despite offers of housing, Heavy refuses to leave the streets he has known for decades. Locals have grown accustom to him and say he is part of the landscape. There is always someone willing to slip him money or clothing despite keeping a low profile in the city that never sleeps. He ain’t Heavy, he’s our brother.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !

Fear Factor

You have no idea how henpecked I am

Oh for goodness sakes man, how scared of your wife are you? Timothy Ray Sutton from Tennessee  told police he lied about being robbed because he didn’t want his  wife to know he gave $5 to a homeless man. Sheez, lucky you aren’t friggin Tiger then you would have something to sweat over!! Mr Sutton made a statement to police that he had been mugged while in a parking lot, but it was all crap, there was no robber or a weapon, just a guy scared of his wife. Now the poor bugger has been charged with making a false police report all for friggin 5 bucks!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!