Writings On The Wall

OK, here’s the thing disgruntled hubby. If you are going to set light to a house don’t be scrawling “My wife is a cheater” on the outside walls, it makes it look kinda obvious to investigators who started it.  Just saying.

Cats Shouldn’t Play In The House

The question isn’t, did the cat knock over a lamp in an Indiana home that resulted in the living room being burned down? Nope, the real question is, did the cat do it deliberately!!! Bad kitty.

Psst Claudius set his tail alight last week after sitting on the stove. He kept looking around wondering what the smell was.

Flaming Snake

OK, here’s the thing lady. When you see a nasty old snake slithering around your yard, don’t be pouring no gasoline on it and setting it alight as it may just end up burning your house friggin down. Snakes are like that. No word on what type of snake became a moving flame but it ignited a brush pile which created a bigger fire which then resulted in her and her neighbor’s house catching fire.

Cluck Cluck Saves The Day

Get out, get out

A Wisconsin couple are thanking their lucky stars they saved Cluck Cluck from their neighbor’s chopping block (when it stopped laying eggs) because the chook saved their lives. Seems when a fire broke out in their house the chicken, who was living in a cage in their basement, went berserk and began clucking hysterically. The raucous woke them up and they were able to escape. Cluck Cluck was later rescued by firefighters. Who wants a leg?

Killer Snow Globes

Oo Oh, note to self, always remember to remove your snow globes from the window sill after Christmas or you might find your couch a burning  inferno. Just saying family from Milwaukie!!

Flaming Whitney Houston Vigil

A Whitney Houston fan accidentally set her house on fire after lighting candles  during a vigil for the dead singer. Now her living room is a melted mess.

Bad, Bad Kitty

Two pet kittens , Jesse and Dora, are the potential culprits in a Greater Manchester house fire which caused £250,000 of damage. Investigators believe the felines walked across a touch sensitive cooker when left home alone by their owners, setting off the blaze. Both little kitties died in the inferno.

Kate Winslet To The Rescue

Sorry Jack, this is where I say see ya!

She couldn’t save Jack from the icy waters of the Atlantic but could manage to carry a 90 year old woman from a burning building, go figure! Kate Winslet turned out to be a hero after saving Richard Branson’s mom from a house fire on Branson’s private island retreat. Yes, his magnificent luxury home burned to the ground after it apparently was struck by lightning. Twenty guests including Winslet and her family were tripping the light fantastic on the island. A quick thinking Winslet rushed to the elderly woman’s aid while Branson’s son and nephew  helped get everyone else out.

It Was Probably the Acetone

Let this be a warning to others, do not light a cigarette while using nail polish remover. A Kalamazoo woman is in hosiptal with serious burns and her house is now a charred shell after she “flipped her light” and the house exploded.

Honey, Can You Mow The Lawn

Oh shit!!!!

The moral of the story is never work on your lawnmower in the house. A Missouri man told firefighters he was smoking a ciggie while working on his lawnmower in a bedroom when… kaboom. The explosion sparked a fire that engulfed his home.