Tag Archives: Houston

Return of the Serial Pooper

He’s Back! Yep, the Houston serial pooper has been spotted again. The man , who had been terrorising the town earlier this year by leaving nasty little deposits, has seen walking the streets clutching a handful of toilet paper.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Who The Hell Did I Just Vote For?

Of all the sneaky, low down, rotten tricks. Some white politician from Houston has been accused of deceiving voters into believing he was black by sending out fliers to his overwhelmingly black Democrat constituency with a photo of smiling African-Americans (he nicked from the web) with the caption “Please vote for our friend and neighbour Dave Wilson.” underneath. The trick obviously worked because the homophobic Wilson won. Seriously people do a little research before voting.

Want sauce with that?

8 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, Well I Never

He Won’t Be Doing That Again

You know what I hate? When you see a car idling in a ditch with the windshield wipers on and decide to look for something to steal from it and find a dead body in the trunk. I really friggin hate that!!! Hmm, apparently so does the dude from Houston who discovered a man with a bullet hole in the head after he attempted to steal the speakers.

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Filed under Well I Never

Smart Car vs Smarter Police Car

OK, firstly I didn’t know you could get a Smart Car to go over 90 mph and secondly WTF was the driver thinking, trying to out run a cop in that?

Psst Houston

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious

Just Tear Gas The Rivals

One should never take a Houston Rodeo BBQ seriously or they might find themselves at the end of the unemployment line. Just ask Mike Hamby , he’s lost his job as a cop for allegedly throwing a “powerful chemical irritant” into the tent of cook off rivals, some of which were amputees in wheelchairs. Well at least now he’s got time to master his cooking!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

So I Did Hit Something!

You know you are really drunk when you hit a pedestrian walking along a highway and he lands in your passenger seat next to you and you don’t realize. James John Onak was pulled over by police in Houston, not far from the scene with a shattered windshield and the body of his victim inside the car. He told police he thought he had struck something but wasn’t sure what. The dead man was wearing a Subway uniform and was believed walking to a gas station after having car trouble.

Want sauce with that?

 

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Psychic Fail – No Mass Grave Discovered in Texas

My bad?

OMG, Texas police are currently investigating a mass grave on a property in Houston believed to contain up to 30 bodies. It gets worse. Rumors are flying that many of  bodies are those of  children. The bodies were discovered buried outside a house in Hardin following a tip off. The owner of the property, Joe Bankston, allegedly told police his daughter’s boyfriend attempted to commit suicide a few weeks ago by cutting his wrists and there is still blood on the porch.

UPDATE There are conflicting reports about the discovery. According to the Houston Chronicle the tip came from a psychic (oh!) and no bodies have been found. However, CNN are reporting 20 bodies have been discovered…. stay tuned.

LATEST UPDATE Move on people, nothing to see here, false alarm. Psychic full of shit.

11 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Rasta Robber

Rasta Robber

Hey dudes, the FBI needs your help in catching the “Rasta Robber”. OK, he was last seen wearing a dreadlock wig, red lipstick and makeup. The unknown man is wanted for the robbery of a Wells Fargo bank in Houston.  Hmm, you might want to check WalMart for starters.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !

Ring Of Bright Water

Geez, you would think Houston could handle a couple of wayward sea otters. Seems the mischievous pair got loose on a Continental Airlines flight causing a 80 minute delay. On any other day this wouldn’t even make the news!

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

Where Did That Come From?

Dude!

Dude!

Some times it pays to be fat. A 600 lb man in Houston managed to hide a 9mm hand gun in one of his fat rolls while being held in jail. George Vera was arrested for something (no one seems to care) and was being held in a city jail before being transferred to Harris County Jail. All that time he had the gun and two clips hidden in a layer of fat. Ahh, George eventually fessed up because no one seemed to want to search him there!


10 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Well I Never