Digital Copiers Are Evil

If Lois only knew!

OK, no need for alarm people, but anyone or business with a digital copier made after 2002 might want to sit down for this one. Nearly all of them contain a  hard drive, just like your personal computer, which stores every friggin thing you ever photocopied. Yep, photos, documents, your butt!! So, if you or the company you work for, ever decide to  upgrade the copier machines, I suggest taking to the old ones with a friggin sledgehammer or you are more than likely going to be victims of identity theft. Don’t believe me? Well CBS news decided to put it to the test. They went to a New Jersey warehouse and purchased four random second hand copiers for $300 each. Within 30 minutes they had pulled out the hard drives and, using a forensic software program free on the net, they extracted tens of thousands of documents in less than 12 hours. The first copier, which belonged to the Buffalo, N.Y., Police Sex Crimes Division,  contained detailed info on domestic violence complaints, the second was from the Buffalo Police Narcotics Unit and it featured  a list of targets in a major drug raid. The third copier was from a New York construction company and their copier contained plans for a building near ground zero and 95 pages of pay stubs with names, addresses and friggin social security numbers. The last copier was from a New York Insurance company and it contained…wait for it… 300 pages of individual medical records. Want to hear the most frightening part, when CBS news crew visited the warehouse, two shipping containers full of used copiers were on their way to unknown buyers in Argentina and Singapore. OMG!

Some Identities You Just Don’t Steal

OK here’s the thing dumbass, make sure you check whose identity you are stealing before trying to claim unemployment benefits.Some fool is using Dameon Tucker’s identity,  which would be OK, if he wasn’t currently in jail on murder charges.  Geez bro, wouldn’t be messing with his shit, you just might be sharing a cell with him sooner or later! Tucker is awaiting trial for the murder of Angel Herman and her 2-year-old son, Cyrus Shoup. Crikey!

When Identity Theft Sucks

It's your turn to get it honey!

Spare a thought for the elderly couple in Brooklyn who over the past eight years have had the police come a knocking over 50 times. Walter and Rose Martin (83 and 82) are used to hearing “Police! Open up!” because it seems their address is the address of choice for druggies, scam artists and fraudsters. Hmm, so now after 8 friggin years the NYPD’s identity theft squad  said they are going to investigate. Atta boys.

Robin Hood Of Denver

Apparently the Robin Hood that lives in Denver isn’t related to the one of no fixed address in Sherwood Forest. No sirree and he doesn’t steal from the rich to give to the poor either.  Robin Joshua Hood  happened upon someone’s wallet lying on the street and began using the man’s identity to avoid being caught on a warrant. Damn fool couldn’t even outwit the sheriff … he was eventually busted trying to steal 6 caps from a store.

Daddy You Didn’t?

Little did she know!

WTF,  Marc Anthony Misiti  of Conewago decided to steal his daughter’s, yes daughter’s, identity to obtain some credit cards and cash bank checks. Damn straight she dobbed him into police. That will be two counts of identity theft, one count of felony access device fraud, seven counts of misdemeanor access device fraud, 27 counts of theft by deception, and 20 counts of forgery thank you very much.

Psst Oh and don’t hold your breath for a Father’s Day card this year either!