Jadugar Mandrake Disappearing Act

OK loons, one more time. If you proclaim to be able to get out of a cage after being lowered into a river, you better have a foolproof escape plan. An Indian magician is missing after having been lowered in the Ganges (that alone could kill him) and failed resurfaced. Jadugar Mandrake was tied up with rope and chains inside a cage that was lowered (by a crane) into the murky waters of India’s most infamous river. Family, friends, media and spectators waited in anticipation of seeing the magician emerge but alas after minutes ticked by panic set in. Authorities have yet to find the cage or the magician following an extensive search.

Jadugar Mandrake attempted a similar stunt a few years back but it failed dismally after onlookers could clearly see a fake door in the cage. He was mocked and attacked by angry onlookers.

If by some miracle he is found alive, I think he should seriously consider a different occupation.

Put That On Your Resume

OK , I love a record breaking feat . So anyone want to see an  Indian guy break the Guinness World Record by spinning a basketball on a toothbrush for 53 seconds ? Of course you do….it’s hilarious.

PSST Still no cure for cancer.

 

Not What You Want

Look away loons, this is not pretty. A woman in India thought she was getting a cold after feeling a weird nasal sensation . Off she toddled to the docs who referred her to a hospital to have her nasal cavity flush out. When the discomfort continued she went to another hospital where they performed a nasal endoscopy. It was then that they discovered the culprit. A live roach was living in a space between her eyes and brain. Evidently it had crawled up her nose found a nice little bachelor pad and wasn’t going to leave without a fight. It took 45 minutes to remove the squatter after an epic battle using suction and forceps. I hope they sprayed it good.

Holy Sh*t

A group of monks in India are hoping the government will allow them to poop in public. Yep, they want to have the rights, on religious grounds, to crap wherever they like. The dilemma facing the government now is, exempt the monks or go with public health initiatives which includes abolishing public defecation by 2019.

Are You Kidding?

Authorities in Chhattishgarh, India arrested a goat for trespassing in a judge’s garden. The naughty goat had jumped a fence and was munching on  flowers and vegetables when discovered. On a bright note the poor hungry beast was released on bail but the owner will face criminal charges.

PSST Lucky the goat didn’t end up in a curry….just saying

Never Flip The Bird At A Monkey

Cheating On A Whole New Level

India has taken cheating to a whole new level after  up to 1,600 students were expelled in Bihara thanks to their parent  scaling the  walls and hanging off the school building to pass cheat sheets to their kids during an important exam.

Second Child Bursts into Flames

Remember the Indian woman who claimed her baby kept bursting into flames and blamed it on spontaneous combustion? Hmm, yeah well, she is back, and claiming her latest baby is suffering the same prob. Her first son randomly burst into flames from the age of 9 days to 2 months with doctors unable to determine WTF. The mother claims her newest addition (who is also 9 days old ) was in the bathroom when his feet suddenly caught on fire. The infant will be monitored from the safety of the hospital while the mother is accessed for Munchausen. While most are pointing the finger at the mother, some have suggested the cause could be phosphorous in the family house. Several homes in recent years  have burned to the ground thanks to the highly flammable that is often used in buildings. Hmm, yeah, really?

Hey, Has Anyone Seen Al?

A man who worked for India’s Central Public Works Department was given the sack after he failed to show up to work…. for 25 years. The dude went on leave in 1990 and never came back but was still on the payroll. Despite numerous efforts to get the man back behind his desk , he refused and kept requesting extensions of leave. Hmm, I don’t think he cares now, he is eligible to retire.

Dead Guru In Freezer Just Meditating

Help!!!

Just a little word of warning if you just happen upon a body in an ashram freezer. Don’t panic, that’s just Guru Ashutosh Maharaj. Seems his Indian devotees, who don’t believe he is dead but simply in a state of samadhi (the highest level of meditation), plonked him in a freezer for safe keeping. Well,  until he comes out of his medatative state. Awkward. Seems doctors say heart attack, followers say meditation … that guru could be freezing for some time.