Snake 1

When a guy went missing while harvesting palm oil in Indonesia the locals became concerned….look away Loons, this might get ugly. It was kinda of justified…. nearby they noticed the outline of rubber boots protruding from the belly of a 7ft python. YES!!!! The snake had evidently snuck up behind the farmer, choked him, then  swallowed him whole.

Don’t believe me? There is a video. View at your own peril.

Neighbourhood Gets High

OK, here’s the thing Indonesian police, if you decide to set fire to 3.6 tons of marijuana next to your Jakarta office make sure you notify the residents. Evidently some locals got stoned from the smoke wafting into their windows. Journalists and sticky beaks watching the bonfire were also overcome. On a high note (pun intended) , sales of chips, chocolates and sweets went through the roof.

Didn’t see it coming

Feet up everybody, a 10 year old girl has been swallowed by a croc in Indonesia. She was splashing around in a river minding her own beeswax when an enormous beast emerged and swallowed her whole. Her father witnessed the incident.

Indonesian Train System Has Balls

Holy health and safety Batman. Indonesia is installing a deterent for any wouldbe cheapskate commuters aka train surfers. Yes, the contraption consists of a metal frame with a line of concrete balls dangling from it. These balls will hang just a few inches above the tops of the carriages. Hmm, now let see people try to ride on the roof now.

Elephant Poo Paper

Seems there is more than one use for elephant poo. Who knew? Yep, seems you can turn the turds into paper. Lots and lots of it! It’s the brainchild of Queensland zookeeper, Tim Husband, who was desperately trying to save elephants in Indonesia from slaughter. Now locals collect piles and piles of shit to make paper to flog to tourists. One pile of dung makes 15 sheets of high quality pachyderm poo paper.

What Took You So Long?

Cast you minds back about seven years ago when the devastating tsunami washed away thousands of people in Asia. Well, guess what? They have found one of the victims alive. Yes, a now 15 year old girl known as Wati  has been found living on the streets in a nearby city. When the tsunami hit her Indonesian village on Boxing Day, 2004, she was swept away in a wave of water and presumed dead. Somehow she has managed to survive all these years wandering the streets trying to find her way home. When the girl wandered into a cafe in Meulaboh and told her story to staff they tracked down her family despite Wati only remembering her grandfather’s name.

What Were You Thinking?

Ok, here’s the thing parents of 14 year old arrested in Bali, do not and I repeat DO NOT make frigging media deals before your son is free. For crying out loud, how many times must you be told, Indonesia doesn’t like this sort of behavior . Don’t believe me? well just ask Schapelle Corby! Urgh, the parents Have evidently sold the story for $200,000 following a bidding war between rival TV networks.

14 Year Old Faces 6 Years in Bali’s Kerobokan jail

One more time people. Indonesia doesn’t care how friggin old you are, if you get caught with drugs, that’s prison time. A 14 year old New South Wales boy is facing up to 6 years in a Bali’s nightmare Kerobokan jail after being arrested for possessing marijuana while on hols with his parents. Indonesia doesn’t not distinguish between children and adults when it comes to crimes or prisons. Here’s in with the big boys. The unnamed kid is currently being held in a Denpasar police station and is said to be in tears. Sheez, I would be too. You ruined the family holidays for starters!

Three Komodo Dragons You Say?

OK people, feet up, three Komodo dragons have gone AWOL from an Indonesia zoo. These creatures are friggin vicious, deadly and run faster than Carl Lewis. Hello, toxic bacteria in their saliva!!!! Their friggin poison glands can knock you down like a ton of bricks and while you are in spasm on the ground paralyzed, they will feast on you. So if you see one it’s probably too late.

Qantas and the Big Bang

You know what I hate? When a Qantas super jumbo’s engine explodes and metal rains down from the sky over Indonesia (including the Qantas “flying kangaroo” emblem). I really friggin hate that. Passengers aboard the Airbus 380 were WTFing about six minutes after taking off from Singapore when a massive kaboom rattled the cabin. They alerted cabin staff who notified the pilot.Eyewitnesses on the ground said they heard a loud explosion and then saw metal falling from the sky.It is believed an engine exploded. All Qantas A380 aircrafts have been suspended until further notice.

Psst The plane landed safely back at Singapore airport to the relief of the  433 passengers and 26 crew.