Somewhere out there is a would-be kidnapper hanging his head in shame. You had one job….kidnap an 8 year old. What happened? She kung fu-ed you into submission. Amateur. An 8 year old did the old pressure move on the neck of a man who had broken into her home and attempted to drag her downstairs. The little ninja told police she used the “the Cheetah Paw” on the intruder, a move she learnt at Kung Fu class. Meanwhile, police are looking for a man who the girl says “smelled like garbage.” So many levels of hurt.
Tag Archives: intruder
You know what I hate? When you come home and find some dude dancing naked in your house . I really friggin hate that, especially when he refuses to leave. When El Paso cops arrived they found the intruder still inside but he had quit dancing and was just lying on the bed starkers. Oh why, oh why didn’t they report what kind of dance he was doing, so I could get the full picture in my head? Now all I see is a naked man dancing like Ellen .
Remember Oscar Pistorius, the Paralympic and Olympic athlete nicknamed the “bladerunner”, because of his J-shaped carbon fibre prostheses? Well, word coming out of South Africa is he has accidentally shot and killed his girlfriend in the early hours of this morning after thinking she was an intruder. It is currently being reported that it may have been a Valentine’s Day surprise that went terribly wrong. Very sad.
Update : Pistorius has been arrested for murder 😦
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
An intruder was vomiting, what a damn friggin louse!
A very pissed Lester Bagwell broke into a house in Howard county then used the toilet before upchucking all over the place.Merry Christmas Allan Temby and family, I hope it wasn’t on your carpet!
You know what I hate, when police mistake you for an intruder and you end up getting stabbed to death. I really friggin hate that. Japanese lawyer Hirotaka Tsuya died after police arrived at his home in Akita just as he was grabbing a weapon from the hands of intruder Katsu Sugawara. As police overpowered the lawyer, Sugawara plunged a knife into Tsuya’s heart. Whoopsie.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Some naked dude at the end of your bed. An elderly man in Darwin got the shock of his life when he woke to find an intruder standing at the foot of his bed starkers. By the time police arrived the man had dressed and fled the scene. The man was unable to give police a good description of the intruder (don’t blame him) but he did say he smelled strongly of alcohol (could be anyone in Darwin!).
A Pittsburgh man who was as snug as a bug in a rug got the shock of his life when a stranger jumped into his bed. Frank Fontana originally thought the person who snuggled up next to him was a woman who had keys to his home but when a deep male voice answered back “No, it’s not.” he jumped out and grabbed a baseball bat. Evidently the intruder was drunk and cold after seeing a Jay-Z concert and wanted a place to rest his head.