Tag Archives: Israel

Peace Keeping Hummus

What could possibly go wrong? A cafe in Israel is offering big discounts if  Jews and  Arabs sit and have a meal together. In fact the hummus cafe is offering a 50% discount to any table that has an Arab and Jew sitting at it. The owner said “If there’s anything that can bring together these peoples, it’s hummus,” Hmm,  more likely the discount…. just saying.

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Filed under Well I Never

SKUNK

What is worse than tear gas? Seems Israeli “skunk” beats it hands down. Described as smelling like a chunk of rotting corpse from a stagnant sewer, Israeli soldiers have been spraying the foul liquid at Palestinian stone throwing protestors. Armored tanker trucks have cannons filled with the foul fluid ready to unleash on crowds.  One guy on the receiving end of skunk said nothing can remove the stench and for days people won’t come near him.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Woman Swallows Toothbrush

Oi, oi, oi!!!

OMG, a woman in Israel has  somehow managed to swallow her toothbrush. Bat-El Panker (24) was brushing her teeth when she bent over the tap with her toothbrush in her mouth and viola, down her throat (so much for gravity). After several attempts at trying to retrieve it she gave up and rushed herself to the hospital but the doctors couldn’t find it and sent her home. The next day she began feeling pain and went to another hospital for X rays and a ultra sound. Still no sign of the toothbrush. Finally after having a CT scan the damn thing showed up and a doctor fished it out of her stomach.

Psst Lucky she didn’t have to pass it, that would have hurt!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

I Got A Bone To Pick With You!

Do I look like a friggin spy?

A sorry assed vulture has got himself arrested in Saudi Arabia on suspicion of being a  Mossad spy. Oh boy, the bird unfortunately was wearing a transmitter and had a leg tag with the words “Tel Aviv University” clearly marked on it. Awkward. Hmm, this latest bungle comes hot on the heels of Egypt suggesting Israel’s foreign intelligence agency was behind a series of shark attacks in the Red Sea. Yep, some conspiracy theorists believe the Mossad threw deadly sharks into the sea to scare off tourists last month.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Whoops!

Really Old Teeth Found In A Cave

A team of Israeli archaeologists are just about exploding with delight after discovering what is believed to be 400,000 year old teeth in a cave. Hmm, are they sure it ain’t from some lost Palestinian? Anywho ,if tests prove to be conclusive, and this is the remains of the earliest Homo sapien ever found, you can bet your bottom dollar there will be more Jewish bragging rights!

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The Friggin Stuxnet Worm

Ever heard of the Stuxnet worm? Well it is supposedly some you bute friggin nasty assed virus built for the sole purpose of attacking computers at Iran’s nuclear facility.The worm is rumored to have been developed in either Israel, the United States or both (surprise, surprise).However a chunk of code dug from the worm includes a reference from the Book of Esther hinting that the Israeli government are the likely culprits. Presently the worm is wreaking havoc with Iran’s computers and is threatening to halt the opening of its first nuclear facility.Imadinnerjacket will be pissed.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

How Many Assassins Does It Take To Kill a Hamas Leader?

Geez, in my day it only took one assassin to bump off someone not friggin 11. Authorities in Dubai believe Hamas leader Mahmud al-Mabhuh (Mahmoud al Mabhouh) was murdered by a hit squad made up of British, Irish , German and French passport holders. They are also pointing fingers and raising eyebrows at Mossad (Israel’s spy agency) who they believe organized the hit. The Hamas leader was killed in his hotel room last month while on a trip, allegedly to Iran, to buy weapons. The hit squad 11, who had prior knowledge of al Mabhouh’s movements, booked into a room down the hall from the target and either strangled Al-Mubhuh or injected him with a heart attack inducing drug before putting a “do not disturb” sign on the door and exiting stage left. The group used “touristy” disguises such as tennis outfits, wigs and hats to look inconspicuous during their brief stay at the 5 star hotel.

UPDATE : 6 of the Britons named in the plot (of which 3 live in Israel) are furious their identities were stolen and their names link to the assassination. Britain, Ireland and German authorities are claiming the passports are fraudulent.

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Filed under End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never