You’re Free To Go

It’s drywall powder!!!!!

You know what I hate? When you spend 90 days in jail waiting for lab test results for a white substance found in your car. You know what I hate even more? When the white substance turns out to be drywall powder not cocaine. Insert eye roll.

Cow bro

A wayward calf got chauffeur driven to the Christchurch jail cell by police after he was found wandering the streets. After spending the night in jail, being hand fed milk, he was handed over to animal control for rehoming.

Well Isn’t It Ironic

A man who attended the Missouri Monopoly tournament was sent directly to jail following a fight. Anyone got dice to bail him out?

Bad Blood

Didn’t give blood …and you?

An Alabama judge has raised a few eyebrows after he told small time offenders, who couldn’t pay their fines, to give blood or go to jail. The damn ethics groups are whining “Judges may not jail someone simply because they are poor and not able to pay.” Hmm, hello, don’t do the crime.

Spin Cycle Fail

Here’s the thing random lady, you don’t just waltz up to a kid on a playground ride and spin him so fast he screams for help. That is 6 months jail in Oz. OK fine, you get instant parole but it is still on your record. The random woman claims she was mucking around with a group of kids on a roundabout when she asked another kid if he wanted to join in as she was going to try and go really fast. He did, he screamed ( a lot) , she let him off. The problem? The kid was four. Enter parents, who ring the cops and random woman gets carted away in handcuffs.

Ariel Castro Is Dead

The man who held  Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michele Knight  captive for over 10 years has been found hanged in his jail cell ….  despite being on suicide watch. Hmm, didn’t he do a plea deal to avoid the death penalty?

Sounded Like A Good Idea At The Time

How do two teens from Manitoba get to visit their mate in a Winnipeg jail for free? Hmm, well setting light to the  Royal Canadian Mounted Police station pretty much guarantees it. The two teens aged 13 and 14 wanted to be flown to Winnipeg to see their buddy who was being held on arson charges. The judge only granted one of the punks their wish,  the youngest didn’t have any priors so was given bail. Hmm, maybe his parents will drive them.

Should’ve Just Paid For The Meal

OK, here’s the thing people trying to get a free meal at an Indian restaurant in northern England, don’t be plucking no pubes from ya pants and then throwing them in your curry, especially if they have CCTV. Dude!!!! Evidently a customer put his hands down his pants and grabbed some short and curlies and threw them into his lamb bhuna leftovers so he wouldn’t have to pay for his meal. That’s two weeks in jail fool.

Psst I am pretty sure Indians can recognise their own pubes!!!

On The Bright Side, Free Food and Board

You think you’ve had it tough? Spare a thought for an Indian woman who spent 19 years in jail because she couldn’t afford the $92 bail. OK, sure she was in jail for murder but she had no idea that the judge had granted her bail. Her son, who she gave birth to in jail, spent years working in a garment factory to save up for the money. This week she was finally released.

But You Said ….

OK, here’s the thing, don’t be pushing your suicidal friend off a bridge into the path of an oncoming train just because she was ‘too scared to do it herself’….. especially if she survives….and especially if she can’t recall asking to be pushed.  That’s an attempted murder charge and three years jail right there, mother of six.