Tag Archives: Kate Middleton

Royal Blush

What is worse than a French Magazine publishing topless photos of  Prince William’s wife? Hinting they have photos of her and William having sex. Dear lord, leave them alone. William , who is apparently fuming, has sought to sue the magazine. Meanwhile the editor has justified the  publishing of intimate photos by saying Prince Harry would feel ‘less alone’ when the magazine hits shelves. La bitch.

Psst 1 Fergie  denies she was seen in France with a long lens.

Psst Oh and for the record she is no longer Kate Middleton but Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Royal Connections

Good grief, are Carole and Michael taking the opportunity to cash in on their daughter’s Royal connection by releasing a scratchy quiz card game?  OK sure, the  Britannia Scratch Trivia includes answers to questions about Britain but the player has to scratch away a crown to reveal the answer. No word on whether Kate and William are included in any of the questions.

Psst For anyone not following the Royal wedding, Kate Middleton’s parents own an online party supplies company called Party Pieces.

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Random Wants Invite To Royal Wedding

What to do?

How far would you go to get an invite to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding? Well, some Mexican teenager is on a friggin hunger strike demanding an invitation. Yep, you heard me, hunger strike! Estibalis Chavez (19) has been plonked herself in front of the British Embassy in Mexico City (with her tent) for 9 days (so far) and is refusing to eat a thing until she gets her own way. Sheez, as if Estibalis, do you have any idea how long Kate had to friggin wait just to get Will’s  mummy’s ring on her finger?

Psst Hmm, guess she won’t be needing one of these Royal Wedding Sick Bags then.

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You Can Choose Your Friends

Dear god no!

I’m sorry but you are going to have to be someone more important than just being the parents of the bride to get an invite from the Queen, Mr and Mrs Middleton. A palace spokesperson said the Queen ” “has not felt the need” to meet the future in-laws of her grandson Prince William and therefore won’t be doing so before the wedding. In other words the Queen doesn’t do commoners.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Hello, That Ain’t No Fairy Tale!!!!!

Kat darls, how's about another beer?

Oh dear god you poor biatch, Prince William and Kate Middleton has vowed they he won’t be having no butlers or household staff after they tie the knot. Hmm, which means only one thing….Kate, you’re a glorified housewife. Hmm, see, this is what happens when they marry a commoner! Might want to request white goods for pressies and a nice big hoover.Geez, it was bad enough you got a recycled ring now you are losing all the friggin perks of being a princess. Sweetie, it ain’t too late to change your mind, those friggin teatowels haven’t been  printed yet!!! I hear being a WAG has it’s perks.

Psst Damn you, now every time I spy a photo of them I’ll be looking for any signs of shrinkage, iron marks, uneven creases and pink undies.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

How do you know the Royal family hates you?

When the Queen approves your official commemorative coin marking your engagement to her grandson and it looks like crap, that’s how. Sheez, Kate must have choked on her cucumber sandwich when her soon to be granny-in-law gave the coin the of tick approval .The image  looks nothing friggin like her, with her nose heading west and her hair looking like she just stepped out of the shower.  Oh and Blimey, William has been given a full head of hair and an enormous Adam’s apple with the main feature seeming to be his ear.

Psst Is it just me or does the image look more like Harry’s ex Chelsea?

I'm just saying!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Bishop Gets Defriended

It's not like they got a good track record!

Sheez, you give a prominent Church of England bishop a Facebook account and what does he do? Friggin sledges Willie and Kates marriage, that’s what. Reverend Pete Broadbent (58), an avid Facebook user, has raised a few royal eyebrows with his recent posts. In one rant he gives the marriage of the “shallow celebrities” (that will be Willie and Kate) 7 years tops, believing the “gutter press” will set it up to fail. He also has a bitch about Charles and Diana’s doomed nuptials and the British royalty in general “Talent isn’t passed on through people’s bloodstock. The hereditary principle is corrupt and sexist.” Hmm, I might have to poke the old sod.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Royal Engagement Facebook Fail

Seems it didn’t take long for the Queen of England to master Facebook after all.

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Everyone Is Talking About The Ring

Hope it brings better luck!

OK, a big  shout out for “wait Kate” who has hung in there for eight years waiting for  Prince William to pop the question. But dear god Willie, why did you have to drag out “that” ring ? Yes, remember Princess Diana’s diamond and sapphire engagement ring, the one soaking in bad karma? Well, William proposed with it. I kid you not. He didn’t want his mom to “miss out”. I bet Camilla and Charles are going to  gag every time they see it.

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