Tag Archives: Kellogg

Breakfast Cereal Was Designed For WHAT?

Put your spoons down loons and walk away from your Cornflakes…NOW. Apparently the crunchy little flakes were created by Mr Kellogg to stop masturbation. I know , right! It was marketed as “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”. Mr Kellogg, who was a Seventh-day Adventist believed that sex damaged the mind and soul, thus poor Mrs Kellogg was exiled to a separate bedroom. I bet she became one Frosted Flake.  They never consummated their marriage, choosing to adopt their children. Hmm, sounds like a Cocoa Puff.

He even wrote in one of his books that masturbation caused  mood swings, bad posture, acne, epilepsy, palpitations and a fondness for spicy food. OK, boom, there it is…Fruit Loop.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Kelloggs Package Liners Stink

OK Loons, if any of you have Apple Jacks, Corn Pops, Froot Loops or Honey Smacks cereals in your pantry, you might want to bin them. Kelloggs are having a 28 million box recall on the products after several consumers complained about a horrible smell and flavor coming from the package liners. The liners folks, the LINERS!!!! Five of the people who complained actually vomited. Only boxes with the letters “KN” after the used by date are included in the recall.


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!