Tag Archives: Kent

Thugs Dob in Granny

Thugs dob in granny

I hate my life

A street full of thugs and “problem families” were LOLing after police went to an elderly woman’s house to demand she turn her Perry Como music down. Seems it was the lowlifes who had rung the police in their campaign of terror against the woman.  The woman, who had cranked up the volume, was trying to drown out the loud music being played by her upstairs neighbors. Residents are angry that police would continually ignore the blantant drug dealings and abuse in the neighborhood  but come rushing when it was a little old lady.

Want sauce with that?

12 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Bronze Age Boat Project Sinks

OK people, the key to building a replica Bronze Age boat is making it stay afloat, I’m just saying. A team of specialist archaeologists, who had spent 3 months painstakingly building a half sized replica of a 1500BC boat, were somewhat bemused when they lowered it into the Dover Harbour only to watch it take on water straight away. Hmm, sounds more like they built a stone age boat!

Want sauce with that?

15 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Human Cannonball Dies

Oh my, the man dubbed the “human cannonball” has died during a stunt in front of hundreds of horrified onlookers. The 23 year old was fired from a cannon at a Kent Easter show but the safety net failed to engaged and he received serious head injuries.

This is what it should have looked like …

3 Comments

Filed under End Credit, Well I Never

Run People, Run!!!!!

OMG, just when you thought the flockalypse was over, Britain is reporting there are 40,000 dead devil crabs scattered on a beach in Kent. Dear god make it stop!!!!! Damn that Mayan friggin calendar!

OK the body count so far ….

5,000 dead blackbirds Arkansas

100,000 dead drum fish in Arkansas River

2,000,000 fish dead fish wash up at Chesapeake Bay, Maryland

100’s of dead snapper washing up in New Zealand

40,000 dead  devil crabs along the Kent coastline

100’s of dead Jackdaws in a street in Falkoping, Sweden

8,000 dead turtle doves fall from sky with blue stains on their beaks, Faenza, Italy

17 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

The Advantages Of Reading

Ah the misadventures of some poor dumbassed car thief. Daniel Boxall thought he was some kind of wonderful when he pickpocketed a woman’s car keys in Kent and took off with her £13,000 Audi A4 . After he and a mate had driven a few miles they realized the car was running low on gas and pulled into a petrol station. The dumbass failed to read the label on the fuel cap and proceeded to fill up the DIESEL car with UNLEADED. Got all of a few hundred meters he did,  before the Audi sputtered to a grinding halt. Boxall later flagged down a motorist and offered him $100 for the useless car. The motorist in turn rang police.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Whoops!

Car Thief Deterrent

Want to a stop a would-be car thief  dead in his tracks? The most effective way is to jump into the passenger seat beside him, stark friggin naked. He’ll be running for his life faster than you can say “who’s ya daddy?”. When Russell Stuart of Kent heard someone revving up his beloved Peugeot in the middle of the night, he jumped out of bed , ran to his car, flung himself in the passenger seat and said ‘all right mate, where are we going then?’ The thief took one look at his large naked body and fled.Car thief 0, large naked guy 1.

2 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Hiel Inappropriateness

OK, here’s the thing students from the Community College Whitstable in Kent, you don’t greet German exchange students with the Nazi Salute. Nope, that was so 1940’s!  Several parents were outraged by the students behavior and even more so that they weren’t disciplined by the school.

Psst How many times people, don’t mention the war!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Friggin Nuts

That's why we hoard ours!

Lordie, lordie, lordie  The High Brooms Working Men’s Club in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, have got themselves some unwanted publicity after a fight broke out over a bag of peanuts. OK, so they were the last packed of peanuts, but 50 friggin people fighting over them… Sheez! Yes, when two men  both asked for the last packet of nuts a quarrel ensued. One man ended up thumping the other then viola fight, fight, fight. When the dust settled police had arrested 7 people. No word on who ended up with the nuts!

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Taser Story Of The Week

Man running out of burning building tasered by policeHere’s the thing people living in Kent, if you see your house on fire and race inside to rescue your sister and friends don’t be asking no policeman for help, he’ll taser you. Mike Bartlett claims he was tasered after he exited the burning building and approached them asking for help. The Kent City police report says he was combative and intoxicated and had used psychological and physical active resistance to avoid arrest. WTF is psychological active resistance? Guess he won’t be getting no bravery award anytime soon.

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Ghost Gatecrashes Home Video

OK, you have to get up a bit earlier in the morning to fool us loons. Sarah Mackessy claims that while she was filming her kids at The Enchanted Forest nature reserve in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, some ghost decided to gatecrash her home video. A voice can be clearly heard whispering “I’m alive” while her 8 week old son Mack stares unperturbed  into the camera. Looks to me like someone has learned how to use Movie Maker. Boo!

6 Comments

Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Join the skeptic club!