Tag Archives: kidnapped

We Have Your Mother-inLaw

Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone has an enormous problem. Seems his mother-in-law has been kidnapped in Brazil. Aparecida Schunck is the 67 year old mother of the 85 year old’s third wife. The Brazilian kidnappers are demanding $49 million for her safe return. OK, she isn’t Lindburgh’s baby but what a situation for Bernie.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Fashion Mogul Twist

Italian Fashion mogul may have been kidnappedWhen a small Venezuela tourist plane carrying Vittorio Missoni (the CEO of the Italian fashion company Missoni), his wife and brother disappeared , authorities feared the worst. That was last week. Now, after a fruitless land and sea search and a weird text message, Italian police believe the group may have been kidnapped.The son of one of the passengers recieved a strange text message from his father the day after the plane went missing leading to speculation it’s a kidnapping. I smell a midday movie.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Raised By A Colony of Monkeys You Say?

A housewife living in England is about to write a book about her life. Marina Chapman claims she was abandoned in a Colombian jungle after a botched kidnapping and raised by a colony of Capuchin monkeys for 5 years. I know, I know, crazy huh? Marina believes in the 1950s (when she was 5 years old) she was abducted and held for ransom but something went wrong and her captors dumped her in the jungle. At some stage a bunch of monkeys took her in and taught her to hunt with her bare hands. When she was about 10, a group of hunters found her but instead of handing her over to authorities they sold her to a brothel. Eventually she managed to escape and was taken in by a family. In her twenties she traveled to the UK and met her future hubby and had two kids. Now the book.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Not The Best Choice of Tourist Destination

Help

OK, here’s the thing Toronto man, you don’t go holidaying in Afghanistan while the US is still at war with the Taliban, because that’s a friggin kidnapping right there! Colin Rutherford has been held hostage by the Taliban since 2010 and the family are now trying to tee up a meeting with his captors via email “so we can work something out.” Hmm, I’m not sure they are the negotiating type? Anywho, seems the Canadian government have exhausted all avenues (seriously?). Colin went for a two week sight seeing vacation and 14 months later he is still there. Come on, can’t someone help? Oh and don’t look at me, I think I still have a few fatwas out on me!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Kidnapper Sues Hostages

Heed this warning, people who get taken as hostages, never, ever make a verbal deal with a murder suspect  even if he offers you lots and lots of money. In 2009 Jared and Lindsay Rowley were lalala-ing in their Kansas home when Jesse Dennis Dimmick burst in  with a knife and begged them to hide him for an unspecific amount of money. Not having much choice they agreed,but the second Dimmick dozed off, they bolted. Fast forward 3 years and the Rowley’s are being sued by Dimmick for $235,000 because they broke their verbal agreement to hide him. Seems he got shot by the SWAT team after the Rowley’s fled and he wants them to foot the medical bills. The Rowleys meanwhile want $75,000 for the emotional stress caused by the fool.

Psst I think this is a case for Judge Judy!!!

2nd Psst Thanks to Susi Spice for the heads up.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Racist Goat Painted Black

Why are you staring at me?

How do you get up the nostril of the Swiss People’s Party, a seriously far right group? Kidnap their mascot, Zottel the goat and paint him black. That ought to do it. Zottel, according to the party’s website, is “against mass immigration”.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !

RIP J Paul Getty III

Remember the grandson of oil magnate J Paul Getty? You know, the one who lost an ear during a kidnapping in 1973. Come on people,  dig deep. The 16 year old was in Rome when he got napped and the family procrastinated on paying the ransom because they thought it was just him trying to squeeze money out of his tight assed grandpa. Later the kidnappers sent a lock of the young Getty’s hair and one of his ears to a newspaper to prove it wasn’t no hoax. Ring any bells? Gramps eventually coughed up $2.8 million in ransom money but told his son the money was a loan and expected it paid back to him at 4% interest. J Paul Getty III was later found frail and shivering on a highway 5 months after having been kidnapped. The experience left the young man traumatized and he eventually fell into cocaine and heroin addiction. In 1981 he had a massive stroke which left him paralyzed and in need of around the clock care.This time daddy (who had inherited Getty seniors wealth following his death in 1976) refused to pay the medical bills and it was a judge who finally forced the wealthy father to cough up.J Paul Getty the “golden hippie” died on saturday surrounded by family in England, he was only 54.RIP.

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Filed under End Credit