Assassination Attempt?

When Putin’s presidential BMW gets taken out by a wayward Merc you would have to be suspicious right? The Russian president’s favourite official driver was killed instantly when the Putin-less car was hit head on for no apparent reason. Fortunately or unfortunately the driver of the Merc survived and is currently in hospital.

 

Fairytale Fail

A cow who realised he was heading to the Cincinnati slaughterhouse decided to make a run for for freedom. He took off down the main drag with the golden arches in his sights. He was nearly at McDonalds when he was shot down in a hail of bullets. Oh well, no Big Mac and fries for him.

Fore!!!!!!

OK golfers, one more time, do not and I repeat, DO NOT, make dares about who can retrieve the most golf balls from a croc infested dam in Kruger National Park, because someone’s gonna lose. The man disappeared after he waded into waist high water to pick up a ball. They don’t call it Lake Panic for nothing.

That’s A Killing

Call it hormones , call it peeved a pregnant woman shot her boyfriend dead after he didn’t buy her anything at the shopping mall.

Send In The Clowns

Do you know what’s scarier than a Mexican drug lord? A posse of clown assassins who gun down a Mexican drug lord at a children’s party. Yep, one of Mexico’s most powerful former bigwigs met his maker when a group of assassins dressed as clowns ( including red nose and wig) entered a family gathering being held at a major tourist resort and shot him dead at point blank range. The clowns fled before police arrived. Hmm, they obviously didn’t wear the oversized shoes!!!!

Wrong Track

A word of warning dear loons do not, and I repeat, do not, choose a railway line to make drunk passionate love. Yep, you guessed it, a Ukrainian couple decided to do more than toe the line and now one is dead an the other is missing his legs. The survivor told police they “wanted to feel a sense of thrill near a railway track,”

Oxygen Tank + Cigarette = Kaboom

Word of warning loons, do be smoking while using your oxygen tank . A man in Kentucky died after he lit a cigarette and his oxygen tank exploded. His family said it wasn’t the first time his tanks had blown (three prior explosions) but add that this time it was different because it killed him.