Tag Archives: Kim Jong Nam

One Less Chair At Christmas

kim-jong-namOh no, not Kim Jong-nam, the oldest bro of Kim Jong Un is no more. Seems our favourite little Disney loving Kim Jong has been murdered in spectacular fashion at a Malaysian airport.
Two alleged North Korean female assassins sprayed an unknown toxic chemical from a fountain pen (so 1970s) in his face as he waited for his flight. This apparently isn’t the first time his younger bro has tried to bump him off.  Nam is the oldest and, in theory, the true leader of North Korea which Kim Jong Un has never been happy about. He was the product of  Kim Jong-il’s affair with South Korean-born actress Song Hye-rim, but fell out of favour when he was caught trying to sneak into Japan under a false identity to visit Disneyland. Since then he has lived in exile trying to avoid his erratic brother. RIP fun loving Jong.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Who Would You Rather?

Now the smoke has cleared over Dear Leader’ death, which son would you rather see running North Korea?

Um or ...

Nam

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Filed under Kim Jong Um

Guess Who?

Guess who this lazy exiled dude’s papa is?

Hi pa!

North Korean Dear Leader Kim Jong Il of course.

Nam got his marching orders after he secretly snuck off to Japan’s Disneyland. Sheez, he’d have been a much more fun leader. Now his younger half bro is heir apparent.

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Filed under Friggin Kim Jong Il

My Three Sons

They are all useless!

They are all useless!

Poor Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, has quite an important decision to make regarding his country’s future, bless. As he is not getting any older younger there is great media speculation in North Korea that he is finally making a decision as to which son will be his successor. OK, here is the line up people , eldest son Kim Jong Nam (38), middle son Kim Jong Chul(29) or baby of the bunch Kim Jong Un (26).Decisions, decisions what is a dictator to do? Here is a little low down on the boys:

Dear Eldest: Disneyland loving dude, prone to using a fake passport and getting arrested in Japan, usually seen in downtown Tokyo with prostitutes unbeknown to his wife and mistress.He is presently living in Macau, too scared to go home and face daddy.
Dear Middle: Hmm, Jong Chul/Chol who is said to be “suffering from an excess of female hormones” . Is that North Korean for gay? (not that there is anything wrong with that!). Jong Chol  is Swiss educated but considered far too “girlish” to become leader.Rumor has it he is chronically ill anyways.
Dear Youngest : Well, Kim Jong Un is the  apple dumpling noodle of his daddy’s eye  and was marked as the fav to get the nod, basically because he is exactly like his father. Oh, so he is a lying, good for nothing dictator! Did I say that ? My bad!
Whoa, but before you come to any conclusions the North Korean news outlets are now reporting Dear Son #2 may get the nod instead of  Jong Un. Hmm, I wonder if Kim Jong Il’s change of heart is a direct result of him being a huge fan of American Idol ? I’m just saying! Hmm, black president…gay dictator? Who knew?

AND THE WINNER IS ? Well, after much speculation it’s official Dear Youngest has been announced the successor. So much for Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

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Filed under Friggin Kim Jong Il, I'm Just Saying !