Tag Archives: Kim Jong Un

Loon Solution

Hey Kim Jong Un, what’s up with popping those missiles over Japan? You know damn well the UN is going to send you a harshly worded letter… AGAIN. I suggest the world retaliates by dropping millions and millions of junk food parcels into Pyongyang. Imagine how pissed the North Koreans will be with Kim Jong Un when they realise they have been hangry all these years. Just keep dropping chocolate, gummy bears, Mars bars, cookies, Starbucks (luke warm of course)…goddam everything, the sugar rush alone is enough to cause an overthrow.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Kim Jong Um

Fake Reports

Kim Jong Un's ex girlfriend executedOh dear, seems you don’t have to be related to Kim Jong Un to get on his bad side. Five senior officials have been executed,  via anti aircraft guns, for sending the North Korean leader false reports. Kinda damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Respect

kim-jong-unChina has put its foot down on people searching for Kim Jung Un by typing “Fatty Kim the Third”. It has now been blocked. Seriously people, no one approves of ridiculing foreign leaders. Am I right Loons, am I right?

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Filed under Well I Never

While You Were Sleeping

kim-jong-unA word of warning to all top officials, if you doze off during a Kim Jong Un meeting expect to be kaboomed with an anti aircraft gun. Just ask, oh wait, never mind. The head of the education ministry was spotted sleeping during a rant by the ‘glorious leader’ and promptly escorted out and executed with a high end military weapon. Nothing but the best for sleeping, lowlife, dissident, scum dog.

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

No One Puts Kim Jong Un In The Corner

No need to panic loons, but Kim Jong Un just kaboomed a hydrogen bomb. WTF. Seems our cray cray North Korean control freak has H bombed, causing an “artificial earthquake”. Just as South Korea were going WTF was that on the Richter scale, North Korea announced their test was successful. Hmm, I’m guessing the UN will be writing a strongly worded letter

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Filed under Friggin Scary

Kim Jong Un Pruned His Family Tree

kim-jong-um-but-holeKim Jong Un has solved the problem of having an empty seat at next year’s  Christmas table after he bumped off his uncle. Yep, in an impressive move he has had the entire family of Jang Song Thaek executed and,  by entire family , I mean Jang’s sister (her hubby, Ambassador to Cuba), her nephew, her nephew’s two sons, Jang’s two brothers and their sons, daughters and even grandchildren. Un evidently wants no evidence that the family ever existed. Roger that.

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Filed under Sore Loser, Well I Never

Rodman Bestie With Kim Jong Un

What could possibly go wrong?

kim-jong-rodman-1

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Filed under Kim Jong Um

Kim Jong Un’s Wife IS Alive … For Now

kim-jong-um-but-holeCalm down everyone, Kim Jong Um hasn’t had his missus executed for not standing up fast enough. The very obedient wife Ri, who has been AWOL for the past few weeks, appeared on his arm yesterday for a parade to honour the second anniversary of his dead dad Kim Jong Il.  Kim Jong Um has been getting some global flack after executing his uncle last week. See,  he isn’t a complete bastard.

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One Empty Seat At Kim Jong Un’s Chrissie Table

Christmas is going to be a tad awkward at the Jong Un household this year after he erradicated his wayward uncle. And by eradicated I mean executed. Jang Song Thaek  is was the second most powerful man in North Korea until he did something real naughty because  Kim Jong Un declared him “worse than a dog” and claimed he had  “committed such hideous crime as attempting to overthrow the state by all sorts of intrigues and despicable methods with a wild ambition to grab the supreme power of our party and state.” Ouch!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Kim Jong Um, Well I Never

The Hyon Song-wol Sex Tape

Here it is, the alleged “sex tape” that resulted in Kim Jong Un’s ex and about 20 other musicians being executed in North Korea  …

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Filed under Kim Jong Um, Well I Never