Tag Archives: kung fu

Wreckingballs

Look away. A Kung Fu master is encouraging his students to swing large wooden boxes full of bricks from their genitals to help overcome erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Will it though?

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt

Take That!

Somewhere out there is a would-be kidnapper hanging his head in shame. You had one job….kidnap an 8 year old. What happened? She kung fu-ed you into submission. Amateur. An 8 year old did the old pressure move on the neck of a man who had broken into her home and attempted to drag her downstairs. The little ninja told police she used the “the Cheetah Paw” on the intruder, a move she learnt at Kung Fu class. Meanwhile, police are looking for a man who the girl says “smelled like garbage.” So many levels of hurt.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Everyone Was Kung Fu Fighting

Leave me alone, bitch!

Some Chinese man has signed a contract with his wife allowing her to beat him up only once a week. Hmm, evidently Mr Zhang married a kung fu loving woman who was quite willing and able to use her skills on him every time they argued. So, in order for him to keep his teeth and dignity intact, he proposed a contract (signed in font of the in-laws) which allows her to kick his butt only once a week. Failure to comply means instant exile to her parents place for three days because “She is very obedient to her parents, and her parents will support me and blame her,” In her defense, she says she always regrets seeing her hubby with a black eye. Hmm, I don’t know, if I was him I’d just taser the bitch!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never