Run Pooper, Run

What is up with the mystery jogger that likes to take a crap on people’s lawn. So random, so disgusting, so grrr. The unidentified culprit is a female who drops her load before jogging away. She even brings her own toilet paper and leaves that too. So mortified is one resident she has posted messages around the neighbourhood…“To the female jogger that continuously uses of walkway as her toilet: Please stop immediately! You have already exposed yourself to our children and the police have been contacted twice,”
Evidently there is a public toilet directly across from her dump site.

Giant Mystery Penis in Suburban Stockholm

Swedish business Per-Olof Söderberg got a nice little surprise when he was told a giant penis had been mowed into the lawn next to the home he is trying to sell. The phallus was discovered when a reporter writing a story about the sale of the villa sort an aerial view.

But I Don’t Want To Be A Gardener

Oh you poor little precious. Kyron Sloan was having a little nap in his 6th grade class when he got sprung, so as punishment he was made to mow the school lawn. Problem? The kid has ADD and Asperger’s  which causes him to sleep. Seems he has been doing a lot of mowing lately. Kyron has been trying to keep himself awake by drinking water and walking around the school but every morning “I get pulled out of my homeroom to go mow the lawn,” His mother has only recently found out her son has become a free gardener for Southeast Portland middle school .

Want sauce with that?

Where’s My friggin Lawn?

You know what I hate? When you go away for a few days and return home to find your whole friggin front lawn stolen. I really friggin hate that. A shocked Denise Thompson said “Now my place looks like I’m a farmer who just plowed and is ready to put their seeds down,” And nope, none of the neighbors have a clue who belonged to the white truck and trailer parked outside her house while she was gone. Spooky!

Want sauce with that?