Tag Archives: lawyer

What Happens When A Lawyer Learns Photoshop ?

Way to reinforce your reputation . A lawyer is facing suspension after she photoshopped herself mingling with Hollywood elite and then posting the fake photos on her website to attract clients.

photo shop

 

Psst  What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller.

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

Should Have Just Paid The Fine

dumbassOh for crying out loud who pays  a lawyer $1,500 to contest a $100 parking ticket? Well, some dude from British Columbia did.  Evidently,the guy missed the six days window to challenge the “parking too close to a driveway” violation and got an additional fine. So he hired a lawyer to contest the 6 day window and won. Yippee, now you are out of pocket $1,400 just so you could make a point. Way to go.

2 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Lawyer Sits On Ted Bundy Secrets For Over Two Decades

For the life of me I can’t work out why Ted Bundy’s lawyer would want withhold Bundy’s private confessions.  Evidently Bundy admitted to his attorney  John Henry Browne, that he had killed over 100 people and his first victim was a male . Browne said in a recent interview “Ted told me things that he’s never told anybody,”. Despite Bundy signing a release for Mr Browne to publish the information about him, Browne had sat on it for over 20 years. Reason? He “didn’t want to visit those dark places again.” Real reason? He’s writing a book! Hmm, too bad about closure for all the families and loved ones of those victims.

Want sauce with that?

17 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing

Lawyer Blows Himself Up

Hey guys, check out what I got!!!

OK, one more time amateur weapon collectors. When opening a postal package containing hand grenades, proceed with extreme caution, just in case one of them  is live and  goes kaboom!!!! France is now minus one business lawyer after he was blown to smithereens while inspecting his box of goodies in his Paris office. Who the hell sends a live grenade through the mail…oh never mind it’s France!!!!

11 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Amanda Knox Called a Diabolical Demonic She-devil

Amanda Knox, ala Foxy Knoxy, who is in an Italian jail for the murder of British student Meredith Kercher, has been called a ‘diabolical demonic she-devil’ with a ‘dirty’ soul by a lawyer. Ooh ouch! The lawyer is representing the man who Knox originally told police had killed Meredith while she stayed in the kitchen and covered her ears to drown out the screams. Patrick Lumumba is suing Knox for slander. This trial is in addition to Knox’s appeal to be released on the grounds that the DNA and forensic evidence were suspect.

3 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

If It’s A Lawyer Does It Count?

Could have been worse

You know what I hate? When the criminal you are defending stabs you in the neck with a pencil. You know what I really hate? That he did the same thing to his previous lawyer! Joshua Monson, who is facing a murder trial, used a courtroom pencil in both stabbings. He is now waiting a mental health evaluation. Hmm,a bit late for that!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt

Gloria Allred

Who the hell would attempt to blow up Gloria Allred? Hmm, now lets see, there’s …… Seems some clown sent a suspicious package addressed to  the mega lawyer but it turned out to be just a water bottle. Anywho, all I can say is you better run fool.

Psst Gloria Allred is an American lawyer who takes on high profile cases and is kinda scary. You might remember her as the lawyer of Joslyn James, the hard done by porn star lover of Tiger Woods.

Want sauce with that?

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Scary, Whoops!

Manson Has The Devil On His Side

What did I do?

Lordie, lordie, lordie, the lawyer for Charles Manson, nicknamed “The Devil’s Advocate”,  wants Obama to set the crazy man free. Free I say, free. Giovanni Di Stefano claims Manson is not a murderer but simply a cult leader. Technically yessssss. Oh and it gets better, the lawyer says the only thing Manson is guilty of is telling his followers to “do something witchy” and never, ever specifically said to commit murder. He is demanding a new trial for Manson. Good luck with that.

Psst Oh and if you recognise the name Di Stefano, he’s the same attorney who represented Saddam and Chemical Ali.

2nd Psst What would happen if Manson was released? Witness protection and a cushy job at Starbucks?

Want sauce with that?

And a second helping?

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Sore Loser, Well I Never

Did The Lawyer Do It?

Hang onto your deerstalkers loons, Western Australia is about to head into the biggest murder trial in recent years. For those who aren’t familiar with the case here’s a little summary. Corryn Rayney, a Supreme Court registrar and the wife of a prominent lawyer Lloyd Rayney went missing after she attended her regular bootscooting class on 7th August 2007. Her abandoned car and a long trail of transmission fluid were discovered a week later. The trail of fluid led back to her gravesite. Seems the dumbass murderer had accidentally driven over a bollard during the disposal of her body in Kings Park, damaging the gearbox and  leaving a huge friggin stain on the road to the crime scene . During the investigation  police then discovered a bugging device in the Rayney house,  which was allegedly installed by Lloyd so he could secretly monitor his wife’s activities. The couple were estranged but still living in the same house with their two children. Police also discovered that Corryn had received threatening emails prior to her murder but Lloyd strongly denied he was the author. During a press conference police named hubby as the prime and only suspect. Hmm, which in hindsight wasn’t a smart move, considering he is a lawyer, so Lloyd slapped them with a defamation lawsuit.Fast forward three years  and Lloyd has now been officially charged with the wilful murder of his wife . Police made the dramatic arrest after they received results from forensic evidence. A lawyer and a magistrate have been flown in from the Eastern States to reside over the case so Rayney can receive a fair trail.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Now This I Would Like To See

How’s this, a New York lawyer, who’s been out of work for a year after losing a $160,000-a-year litigator position due to the recession, has turned to housecleaning. On her flier Alice Lingo writes, for people who have “always wanted to see a lawyer clean a toilet.” So far she has had no takers. Sheez, probably because they are scared of being sued!

Psst Gloria Allred would be my toilet cleaning lawyer of choice!

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!