Tag Archives: legend

The Loon Is Back…Just!

airport scanner 2The Loon was 5 minutes from being stranded in the US but thanks to a very persistent American Airlines pilot I was able to get home. It started on the Baltimore tarmac. We were lined up on the runway, the very next to take off, when the pilot announced that Fort Worth Airport  had just closed due to thunder storms. For two hours we all sat in the plane on the tarmac, while other planes took off around us. Evidently in the US you can’t go back to the gate until you have sat on the tarmac for 2 hours. My connecting flight was due to take off in three hours. The pilot, who was trying desperately to get us to Dallas, then announced that we would be taking off in 20 minutes.

Forty minutes went by, when a very angry pilot announced that the airport had reopened but the air traffic controllers had told him the plane would have to take an alternative route. A route that was impossible because the plane didn’t have enough fuel to reach the destination. I think his words were “incompetent idiots”.

Another 10 minutes went by and the pilot announced that he was given two options, either fly the route given by removing 55 passengers or fly to Houston and refuel before flying on to Dallas. He was so pissed by then he decided to take the plane back to the gate (which he was now legally allowed to do) and stormed off the plane to sort it out personally (as we sat like fools nursing our deep vein thrombosis).

Another 10 minutes went by when a still very angry pilot returned saying he couldn’t get them to understand logic so we were flying to Houston. However, before we took off the pilot programmed several routes into the plane data just in case they came to their senses while we were in mid air. Smart little cookie, as 30 minutes into the flight he announced we could now fly directly to Fort Worth. A choice set of words were then muttered by the pilot, to which he received a rousing round of applause. We had boarded the plane at 3.45pm (for a 2 hour flight)  and we touched down  at 9.45pm.

My connecting flight (an international flight) was due to leave at 9.55pm. This did not look good. When we exited the aircraft a rather enormous effeminate young man in trackie daks with a Qantas paddle  screamed for the 7 passengers on the Qantas flight to run with him (think Cam from Modern Family) . He took off like Usain Bolt while we all trudged behind carrying our hand luggage and desperately searching for our passports. How the hell were we going to get through customs and security?

Onto a transit train we hopped with the sweating , puffing Qantas paddleman screaming through his walkie talkie to hold the plane. He kept muttering to himself , they aren’t going to hold it, they aren’t going to hold it, as sweat dripped from his forehead. We had four stops to go. When the doors finally opened his voice went another octave higher as he screamed “run, if they see you they can’t take off”.  Off he waddled waving his paddle and screaming to us move it people. I have no idea how we got on the plane without going through customs but we boarded with seconds to spare . The plane was half empty. Evidently, we were the only flight that had made it into Fort Worth/Dallas that night and the Qantas flight was the only one to leave.

So to the pilot of American Airlines and the effeminate young man with the Qantas paddle, you are both legends.



Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Legend Bro

Blahahaha, Kiwis have an awesome anti drinking driving  ad campaign bro.


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious

RIP Elizabeth Taylor

The eternal beauty and Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor passed away today at 79 from congestive heart failure. Waiting with open arms at the pearly gates will be a line of men including Richard Burton, Mike Todd , Michael Wilding and Michael Jackson who all love and lost her. Taylor was one of the last true Hollywood legends. Taylor began her career as a child actor before easily slipping into adult roles. She became just as famous for her acting as her marriages, 8 in total. In her later life she devoted much time and energy to AIDS-related charities and fundraising. RIP Elizabeth Taylor.

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Filed under End Credit

You Can’t Ban The Friggin Tron Guy!!!

Oh for crying out loud, a cinema in Minnesota is banning the Tron guy (aka Jay Maynard) from viewing the new 3D Tron movie in his famous costume. Damn you to hell, the dude’s a friggin legend….plus he commented right here on the Friggin Loon way back in 2009 when I pulled the piss on him.

It ain't THAT bad!!!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Archie Roach Hospitalized

A big shout out to indigenous Aussie singing legend, Archie Roach, who suffered a stroke in Broome while visiting a remote Aboriginal community yesterday. I love this guy’s music and hope he has a speedy recovery!

Psst Sadly, the sound on this clip is really low, so I have posted a second clip which was made a disgruntled orphan and has really nothing to do with Roach other than using his fantastic song.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Anne Sellors Is A Legend

OMG, imagine you have a bit part in the 1984 movie Threads, about a nuclear war on the UK. It’s only a small part, which requires you to look shocked then pee your pants, but you do it, thinking, the pays good and no one will ever remember me because the scene was so short. WRONG. Anne Sellors is now an internet phenomenon thanks in part to IMDb who so kindly mentions her as the “uncredited” actress who “urinates herself” and internet users who have kept her popularity up 4,078,266%.Pure marketing genius…


One has only to read the IMDb boards to know she is adored by many. Spadowski writes “Someone get this lady an agent, because a new Internet star is about to be born.I smell a sequel!” Another suggests she may go on to cure cancer!
So who is this enigma Anne Sellors? Who the F*** knows, but someone, either Anne Sellor herself, or a family member had the good foresight to admit she was in the film. Who could forget her two second scene …

The look!

The leak!

I bet the actor who appeared seconds before her scene wished he had the foresight! No one will ever remember him as the man on the toilet. Loser!

Missed your chance buddy!

Just didn't cut it!

Psst If you too want to piss your pants laughing check out Anne Sellors page on IMDb .


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never