Tag Archives: Leonardo Da Vinci

Stop Looking, They’ve Found The Lost Da Vinci

Attention Dan Brown, Dan Brown to the front counter please, we think may have found a missing Da Vinci. That sneaky little artist  Giorgio Vasari may have thought he had the last laugh by hiding Leo’s masterpiece behind his “Battle of Marciano” fresco but those experts in Florence are on to you.The only problem, is the mural is hidden behind a friggin brick wall and the only way to get to it is through Vasari’s painting. Art experts are pretty sure it’s the Leonardo’s long lost work “The Battle of Anghiari” after discovering that grit removed from the wall contained black pigment and lacquer, which is very similar to what Leo used in his brown glazes (hmm, straw clutching?).

The missing painting was commissioned by Piero Soderini in 1502 and depicted the Italian knights defeating Milanese forces in 1440. Leonardo decided it was an opportune time to do a bit of experimenting with a new oil painting technique but from all accounts it was a bit of a failure so he left it unfinished.  Anywho, as rumor has it when Vasari, in the 1550s, was commissioned to remodel the hall and paint over Da Vinci’s unfinished work  he built a fake wall to protect it instead. Varsari then left a cryptic clue within his mural for Dan Brown like people to discover …..  “cerca trova,” (seek and you shall find). See, artist were so much cooler back then!!!

Psst They are already calling it a masterpiece when it was pretty clear Leonardo hated the stupid thing!!!

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So Dan Brown Wasn’t Full Of Shit!

That cheeky little Da Vinci has been messing with us again. Art experts have discovered a friggin code in the Mona Lisa’s eyes that are only visible by magnifying glass. Seems Dan Brown was right about Leonardo’s love of placing secret codes and symbols in his art works. Evidently Mona’s right eye contains the letters LV and her left eye the letters C and E (or B). No one is quite sure what the letters mean but some experts believe it may be a clue to the real identity of Mona Lisa (or his bicycle lock combination?). The discovery was made after Luigi Borgia found a book in an antique shop describing how the eyes of the Mona Lisa were filled with secret signs. Hmm, you would have thought someone would have discovered it before now  , how many times has the painting been friggin forged for goodness sakes?

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Leonardo Da Vinci To Be Exhumed

She could be a he!

I’m not really sure if I care, but scientists are hoping to exhume the body of Leonardo Da Vinci so they can reconstruct his face and prove one way or another if the Mona Lisa is a self portrait.  Now all they have to do is find his skull. Here’s the thing people, Leo was originally buried in a church that was destroyed during the French Revolution in 1789 and his remains were carted over to the smaller chapel of Saint Hubert at Amboise Castle and reburied. DNA testing will have to be done to confirm the identity of the remains as the inscription on the tomb says “presumed” to be the master’s. It could be friggin anyone’s!

Psst Still no cure for cancer.

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