Just when you thought it was safe to drive through a lion park…. a family got the bejeezus scared out of them when a lion used his teeth to open their car door. I love lions, nom, nom, nom, boo.
A safari went awkward after a bus full of 30 tourists broke down in the middle of a zoo park lion tour . Some brave fools risked life and limb to scramble onto another bus while the others stayed put. Unfortunately for them the driver, who had exited the bus, hadn’t put on the hand brake and the vehicle began rolling down a slope, much to the delight of the curious lions. Luckily, the bus driver was
silly brave enough to run after the bus and apply the brake. No one was seriously injured in the incident but the animals had a good laugh.
A zoo in the People’s Park of Luohe thought they could pull the wool over their customer’s eyes by thinly disguising a Tibetan mastiff dog as an African lion. The only problem was, the damn thing barked. Oh and just in case you thought that leopard looked weird…. it’s really a white fox. Hey, hang on I haven’t finished yet, that wolf … another dog. One appalled zoo goer said “They should at least use a husky to pretend to be a wolf”. Ouch.
Psst Way to mess with children’s heads. Daddy, can I buy that lion in the window?
Oh for crying out loud labradoodle owner, can you quit having your pooch clipped to look like a lion. That’s one hell of a lot of 911 calls and a swat team, right there.
Feet up people in Essex, seems there is a friggin lion on the loose. Yes, you heard me LION! Witnesses say they saw the beast roaming the area and the thing even roared. One petrified person sprinted passed a group of people screaming “It’s a f**king lion”. All zoos say their lions are accounted for so police are now trying to locate circuses. So loons, if you see a big tan cat with a mane near the village of St Osyth, please don’t pat it.
Psst Maybe he’s a TOWIE fan…hmm, or maybe NOT?
It’s just a glass wall between me and lunch!
Hmm, next time you decide to steal a van in Germany, just check to make sure there isn’t a friggin circus lion in the back, it could end in tears. Circus Probst’s ferocious five-year-old feline Caesar was lying in the back of a Mercedes van when a thief saw an opportunity and went for it. Hmm, when the van was discovered later that night, abandoned with the engine still running next to a broken road sign it was assumed he heard the roar (oh, fly on that wall). Even funnier, when the van was towed away no one knew Caesar was even in the back . Circus lion 1, reformed car thief 0.
Well, well, well when a group of psychics get involved in a police investigation it can only lead to trouble. Carlos Assaf, a local baker from who was hooked on amphetamines hanged himself after apparently having a tiff with his girlfriend. Initial investigation by Manchester police also suggested suicide. Hmm, that was until a group of psychics threw a spanner into the works. They claim a spirit told them Mr Assaf had been murdered after being forced to drink petrol and bleach. Oh it gets better. They also told police they saw “a lion, a horse and the name Tony Fox in their visions”. A few weeks and £20,000 later they found no lion or horse but did find a criminal called Tony Fox who was like, WTF. When they finally got around to doing a second postmortem they found no evidence of bleach or petrol. Hmm, really? Guess they ain’t no Allison DuBois (more like Patricia Arquette) or the ghost of Carlos Assaf was messing with them!
Psst You’d think they would have done the second postmortem first!