Tag Archives: london

Sibling Rivalry Problem Solved

A brother kills his brother at another brother's funeralOi, oi, oi, a man in London has been arrested for killing his brother while at the funeral of their other brother. I know, crazy , right? Evidently, the brothers got into a heated argument during the funeral which lead to the younger one being stabbed to death. Sheez, the next funeral  is going to be awkward.

6 Comments

Filed under End Credit, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !

Excuse Me Waiter, There Is A Flea Collar in My Curry

Lamb curry contains mystery meatStep away from your lamb curry people of Britain. A mystery meat has been discovered in six London outlets. The tests concluded the curry contained meat, just not from a lamb, pig, chicken, cow, horse or goat. Leading many to believe it could be ….DOG!

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Leave Us The Hell Alone

haunted mirror for sale on eBay

Leave us alone

Attention Loons, is anyone interested in a Victorian style mirror that has brought nothing but  bad luck, misery, financial problems and illness to its owners? Well if yes, it could be yours. The owners have thrown the haunted thing on eBay. Mrjoiee, from London and his flatmate rsecued the mirror from the rubbish after their landlord had thrown it out, but since mounting it on the wall the pair have had nothing but feeling of impending doom, illness and money woes. Needless to say there hasn’t been one friggin bid. If you want it click here …oh and make sure to read the description.

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Come Down From There Right This Minute

This is the very reason you should stay off drugs people!!! A naked man spent three hours cavorting on the top of head  of the Duke of Cambridge statue in Central London… much to the delight of passerbys but not so much the police.  Must have been cold on his …. oh never mind!!!

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Look Away Sensitive Loons

OMG, this is the worst story I have heard all day. British police believe a frozen body found splattered on a car in London probably dropped from an airplane undercarriage while making its descent. No, I am not making this up. Police think the man may have been a stowaway who froze during the flight then fell out when the landing gear came down.Oh dear, poor thing.

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Do wee really need to know?

Seems that the US Olympian swimmers aren’t bashful about admitting to peeing in the pool and in fact they are proud of it. After Ryan Lochte fessed up to letting it trickle in the Olympic pool while warming up in London , Michael Phelps has also come of  the water closet too.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Rolo’s Excellent Adventure

OK, no need to worry loons, Rolo the hamster, who fell 12ft from a window, kaboomed onto a car bonnet and bounced into the path of a neighborhood cat has been rescued by two quick thinking cops who witnessed the rodent’s escapades. The constables shooed the cat while Rolo ran around the wheelie bins and under parked cars trying to avoid being dinner. Rolo was eventually put out of his misery when PC Helen Hansen trapped him under her helmet. The smart thinking cops then knocked on the door of a house which had a sign in the window “Beware of the hamster” and returned the traumatized rodent back to his 8 year old owner Milly Rook, who had no idea Rolo had gone AWOL.

6 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

London Olympics

Did any other sucker wake up at 3.30 to watch the opening ceremony of the London Olympics? Probably not! Anywho, I did and, regrets, I have a few. I thought  everything was either way too long or way too short and self indulgent for my liking.  Did Beckham boat it from Ireland, it took for friggin EVER? The best part was Mr Bean messing with Vangelis  and the Queen bailing from a helicopter with 007. And as for no mention of Elton John ….disgraceful.

As the for the Australian Lawn Bowlers they were a tad unruly. Hmmm, probably got restless waiting , waiting, waiting….

11 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Yes, About That Complaint You Made

OMG, there's someone at the door!!!!

Sleep with one eye open residents of Andover Estate in London, the Islington council have accidentally given your names and telephone numbers to those drug taking low lifes you’ve had banned from the estate. Whoopsie. About 51 people who complained about their drug taking, loud music and abusive behavior will be getting extra police patrols, thanks to the bungle.Hmm, lets just hope the thugs can’t read!

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Yeah, About You Being An Only Child!!!

You know, one of the perks of been the founder of a UK fertility clinic is you can father as many bubs as you want. Just take the late Dr Bertold Wiesner for example, he allegedly fathered an estimated 600 children.Evidently he was supplying two thirds of the clinic sperm donations.Hmm, I bet he had RSI of the wrist. The doc and his wife set up the London clinic in the 1940’s. Hmm, I wonder if there are plans for a family reunion? That’s one almighty KFC family bucket!!!

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never