Tag Archives: loose

Deadly King Cobra

King cobra on the loose in QueenslandFeet up people of Orlando, seems an 8ft venomous king cobra is on the loose after escaping from its owner’s house. Unfortunately, the deadly reptile is friggin green and yellow and most likely gonna be hanging out in densely wooded area. Authorities are saying not to approach the creature…. no shit Sherlock …. one bite has enough venom to kill 20 people. More bad news, cobras are good climbers and it is likely to grow up to 18 feet. Good luck with that!


Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

Tiger on The Loose

tiger 4Feet up Mickey, there is a tiger on the loose near Paris Disneyland. The big cat was spied and photographed in a supermarket carpark near EuroDisney . Disney are saying don’t look at us, the only tiger we have is Tigger and he’s just a suit. Anywho, the area has been evacuated as authorities go tiger hunting.


Filed under Friggin Wildlife

I’m Not Lion

Feet up people in Essex, seems there is a friggin lion on the loose. Yes, you heard me LION! Witnesses say they saw the beast roaming the area and the thing even roared. One petrified person sprinted passed a group of people screaming “It’s a f**king lion”. All zoos say their lions are accounted for so police are now trying to locate circuses. So loons, if you see a big tan cat with a mane near the village of St Osyth, please don’t pat it.

Psst Maybe he’s a TOWIE fan…hmm, or maybe NOT?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Sleep With One Eye Open Ohio

Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my. We not in Kansas anymore folks. Nope, we’re in Ohio where people have been warned to run for their lives if they come across an exotic or dangerous animal after the owner of a preserve was found dead. Evidently Terry Thompson had  let all his animals loose before killing himself creating a real life Jumanji. Sadly police were forced to shoot many of the animals, including Bengal tigers but were still combing the area in night vision goggles looking for more lions, tigers, leopards, a giraffe, several monkeys and grizzly bears.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

But They Looked So Real!

Yeah, they look real!

OK motorists of McMinn County can you quit calling 911, that tiger and cub seen on the I-75 are stuffed. Several concerned motorists rang 911 fearing the tigers had escaped from a circus but when a deputy was sent to investigate he found two stuffed animals watching the traffic. Punk’d!


Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!