Tag Archives: lose weight

Sun Eating Anyone?

Did you know the word gullible isn’t in the Oxford English dictionary? Seems a group of Chinese women sun eaters didn’t either. Introducing the new fad in Hong Kong …. sun eating… where women stare into the sun to lose weight. Just as the sun sets they gather to glare at the it, in the belief they will lose their appetite, improve their vision and get better sleep. Short of nuking their retinas the women believe they will eventually have no desire to eat food ever again. Good luck with that.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Cotton Ball Diet

Oh for crying out loud all you people wanting to be thin. Eating juice soaked cotton balls to make you feel full is slightly dumbass, considering it could block your instestinal tract and then kaboom! Seriously, just focus on world peace. Oh, an FYI, cotton balls aren’t made from natural fibers they contain all sorts of chemicals. Eat a shirt it is probably safer.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Tapeworm Diet Anyone?

Woman swallows tapeworm to lose weightOh for the love of being thin,some woman in Iowa bought a tapeworm off the internet and swallowed it in an attempt to lose weight. When she told her doctor he freaked and contacted public health department who WTFed before issuing a warning about the friggin stupidity of swallowing tapeworms.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Best Diet Ever

THANK YOU!!!!!

A new study is claiming dieters should eat all the cake they want for breakie to lose weight. Seems if you stuff your face in the morning, for the rest of the day you are too bloated to care about eating any more crap. Hmm, I suspect the Wombies could be behind this study!!! According to the study, obese people who ate a breakfast high in protein and carbohydrates were better able to stick to their diet and keep the weight off longer than participants who ate a low-carb, low-calorie breakfast.  Seems it stops the sugar cravings. Go figure!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, You Go Girl!

Chugay Tongue Patch, The Most Painful Way To Lose Weight

Want to lose weight but nothing you do works? Well have I got a device for you. Introducing the “Chugay Tongue Patch” a nasty little piece of mesh which is surgically attached to your tongue, making it hell painful to eat! The inventor Dr. Nikolas Chugay says that his patients loose between 15- 30lbs a month because the pain makes is too excruciating to eat solid foods and they must resort to liquids . Hmm, good to see the dark ages are well and truly alive and kicking in America. The mesh is about the size of a postage stamp and once sewn onto your tongue you won’t even be able to so much as suck an Oreo without experiencing da pain . Hmm, I am guessing other activities will be out of the question too, unless of course you have sadomasochism tendencies! Oh yeah and brushing your teeth will be a bitch! Good luck with that!

Psst I sense some eyebrow raising loons, you think I jest? Tut tut here’s the dudes website Dr Chugay.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, That's Gotta Hurt