What we have all learnt from this year’s US presidential election is to never, ever make a bet. Just ask Sam Wang, founder of the Princeton Election Consortium, who promised to eat a bug if Trump received more that 240 electoral votes. Silly man. I am personally owed 2 lunches for the suckers who thought Hillary was a romp in. Now, now before you all go hate on me, I wasn’t hoping for a Trump win, just loving the reaction I got when I said he was going to win.
Tag Archives: lost
An Italian man claims he spent 13 months lost in a Dubai shopping mall unable to find an exit. The dishevelled man appeared with a battered trolley a few days ago telling confused staff he had been surviving on fast food after he was parted from his friend during a mad shopping rush. Despite raised eyebrows the man was taken to hospital.
Hello, is this 911? My family and I are lost in the Danver’s Corn Maze do you think you could come help us find our way out? Seems an evening stroll in a 7 acre corn maze got a little too much for the family of four so they decided to call the police after failing to find a way out. It took the cops 9 minutes to locate them.
A wayward emperor penguin who found himself eating sand on a New Zealand beach 3200km from Antarctica will have to find his own way home. Yep, New Zealand’s Department of Conservation are saying “NO” to returning the 10 month old penguin to his family, who are all sitting in the dark wondering where the hell is he! It’s swim or die. I hear they taste like chicken?
Psst Surely a zoo would take a one misguided emperor penguin?
A big shout out to Rory Mcillroy, gallant in defeat after losing the Masters (that’s golf for those of you who are a tad confused) in spectacular fashion. Poor guy was still leading the tournament after the 9th hole on the final day only to watch his ball ricochet off a tree and into the abyss on the 10th. He tried hard to recover but the friggin ball found another tree. By the time he had finished the hole he had lost the lead and his confidence. It kinda got worse on the 11th and 12th holes but by then the lead was irretrievable. Sheez, I feel your pain! Well at least he can take some comfort …. “The positive are that I led the tournament for 63 holes.” Attaboy. Oh and congrats to Charl Schwartzel the eventual winner, whoever the dickens you are?
Psst I hate it when they say it was his to lose!
Oh for the love of god has anyone lost a friggin pink and grey galah called Oscar? He is currently in my lounge room eating my curtains. OK, I don’t have curtains but if I did?????? He is tame but hates being in a friggin cage . DO I LOOK LIKE A FRIGGIN BIRD SANCTUARY?????