Ten ninjas were stopped outside Malaysia’s royal palace as they attempted to claim the throne. Hey, hang on a minute aren’t ninjas suppose to be invisible? Anywho, the head ninja claimed he had a letter of appointment from the Philippines laying out the royal claim. The big bummer is Malaysia has a law forbiding anyone to challenge the King’s authority, which means these ninjas face life in jail. It’s hard being a ninja these days.
Tag Archives: malaysia
Not a good week for motorsport. Sad to announce the death of MotoGP rider Marco Simoncelli who was killed during a race in Malaysia. Just four minutes into the race Simoncelli lost control of his Honda and was hit by two other riders, losing his helmet in the process. Simoncelli never regained consciousness and died in hospital from head, chest and neck injuries. He was only 24.
OMG, a four day old baby from Malaysia was snatched from a living room, bitten and then thrown from the roof by a macaque monkey. The body of the newborn was later found by a horrified mother. Bad, bad monkey.
WTF. A communtiy service announcement to the person in Malaysia who stole the ashes of an African witch doctor, return the friggin flowerpot or you are about to have an involuntary sex change! At du Plooy, who is the grandson of the deceased woman witchdoctor, says he is a medium and that dearly departed granny has put a 1km curse around the pot after it was stolen! Now, because she is so pissed, the culprit and anyone in that vacinity will gradually change from male to female or vice versa if the pot isn’t returned! Dear god, you can do that (imagine how much money could be saved on surgery…if only!). OK loons, I know what you are thinking, why doesn’t the granny spirit just tell Du Plooy where her ashes are, she’s a witchdoctor he’s a medium right ? That’s what Patrica Arquette would do! Hmm, but Du Plooy said he thought so too, but granny told him she isn’t familiar with the area it was taken to! Fair enough, she is a woman!
Psst Who puts ashes in a flowerpot? Hmm, more to the point, who would steal a flowerpot?
Geez, six strokes of the cane for having a beer is a tad harsh me thinks (I hope it was full strength). Hmm, well that’s the price Muslim model Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno will have to pay for her little indulgence. Despite a human cry over the sentencing, Harussani Zakaria, an influential mufti said the punishment if anything was “very lenient”.Kartika said she was not going to appeal the decision and just wanted it over with as soon as possible. It’s enough to make you drink! Did I happen to mention she was also fined $1700.
Psst It would’ve been a bitch if it was her shout next!
Now boys if you drink Malaysian coffee you are pretty much guaranteed to be up for hours and hours. Authorities have confiscated 900 boxes of coffee laced with Viagra.Oh yeah, nothing like Viagra in your coffee to get you up in the morning! Though Viagra is legal in Malaysia it still requires a prescription. The company, which was raided by Kuala Lumpur health ministry officials, was believed to be selling the coffee and Viagra concoction as an energy booster.
Psst I heard if it is successful, they were going to rename all the Malaysian Starbucks, Star…. ah never mind!