Tag Archives: malaysia

Ninjas After Malaysian Throne

Ninjas After Malaysian ThroneTen ninjas were stopped outside Malaysia’s royal palace as they attempted to claim the throne. Hey, hang on a minute aren’t ninjas suppose to be invisible? Anywho, the head ninja claimed he had a letter of appointment from the Philippines laying out the royal claim.  The big bummer is Malaysia has a law forbiding anyone to challenge the King’s authority, which means these ninjas face life in jail. It’s hard being a ninja these days.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Virgin Mary Makes Appearance In Malaysia

Catholics are all in a tizz after the Virgin Mary appearing on a hospital window in Malaysia. No word on what she was doing there.

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Filed under Join the skeptic club!

Marco Simoncelli Dies In MotoGP Race

Not a good week for motorsport. Sad to announce the death of MotoGP rider Marco Simoncelli who was killed during a race in Malaysia. Just four minutes into the race Simoncelli lost control of his Honda and was hit by two other riders, losing his helmet in the process. Simoncelli never regained consciousness and died in hospital from head, chest and neck injuries. He was only 24.

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Filed under End Credit

Primal Fear

 

My Bad?

 

OMG, a four day old baby from Malaysia was snatched from a living room, bitten and then thrown from the roof by a macaque monkey. The body of the newborn was later found by a horrified mother. Bad, bad monkey.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

An Affair To Remember

I feel cheap!

Lucky Tiger Woods doesn’t live in Malaysia. Two lovers who got busted having an affair have been handed down a rather harsh penalty. They have been ordered to pay a fine of four buffaloes and a pig to their village as compensation. Hmm, seems even harsher on the wife who dobbed them in, she got jack shit!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Murdered Maid

OK, here’s lies the problem people, if you kill the maid, who the hell is going to clean up the mess and get rid of the body? Geez, isn’t that what she gets paid to…ah never mind. A.Murugan a sugar cane juice seller from Malaysia has been charged with the murder of Indonesian maid Mantik Hani after the next door neighbor stumbled across the body. Yeni Marianti Sudirman was invited over to the Murugan’s house by the wife during the Deepavali celebration and it was while she was there that the Murugan’s 3 year old son led her to the body. Mantik’s body was lying on the floor of the toilet with her hands bound and her head shaven. After discovering the body, Sudirman made an excuse to leave and raced home to contact a lawyer. She didn’t ring police because she had no passport (fair enough). It seemed the Murugans just left the body where it was and used the other toilet.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Sex Change Curse

Boo!

WTF. A communtiy service announcement to the person in Malaysia who stole the ashes of an African witch doctor, return the friggin flowerpot or you are about to have an involuntary sex change! At du Plooy, who is the grandson of the deceased woman witchdoctor, says he is a medium and that dearly departed granny has put a 1km curse around the pot after it was stolen!  Now, because she is so pissed, the culprit and anyone in that vacinity will gradually change from male to female or vice versa if the pot isn’t returned! Dear god, you can do that (imagine how much money could be saved on surgery…if only!). OK loons, I know what you are thinking, why doesn’t the granny spirit just tell Du Plooy where her ashes are, she’s a witchdoctor he’s a medium right ? That’s what Patrica Arquette would do! Hmm, but Du Plooy said he thought so too, but granny told him she isn’t familiar with the area it was taken to! Fair enough, she is a woman!

Psst Who puts ashes in a flowerpot? Hmm, more to the point, who would steal a flowerpot?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Evolution Be Damned!, Join the skeptic club!, That's Gotta Hurt

Full Strength

I heard it was Budweiser and she didn't use a glass!

I heard it was Budweiser and she didn't use a glass!

Geez, six strokes of the cane for having a beer is a tad harsh me thinks (I hope it was full strength). Hmm, well that’s the price Muslim model Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno will have to pay for her little indulgence. Despite a human cry over the sentencing, Harussani Zakaria, an influential mufti  said the punishment if anything was “very lenient”.Kartika said she was not going to appeal the decision and just wanted it over with as soon as possible. It’s enough to make you drink! Did I happen to mention she was also fined $1700.

Psst It would’ve been a bitch if it was her shout next!

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

For Richer For Poorer, For Better For Worse

Photo AP

Photo AP

OK people, what is wrong with this picture? Hmm, 37 year old Che Mat Nor Musa, who is married to 106 year old (that’s no typo people!) Wook Kundor, has just been busted for heroin. Ms Kundor claims she had known about her hubby’s previous drug addiction when she married him in 2006 but was unaware he was still using. Hmm, I wonder if she knew he was 70 years her senior too? Anywho he’s off to rehab and she will sit at home and sleep await his return. Geez, don’t take too long at rehab Musa!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Stiff Penalties

What Bob doesn't realize is he will be erect for days!

What Bob doesn't realize is he will be erect for days!

Now boys  if you drink Malaysian coffee you are pretty much guaranteed to be up for hours and hours. Authorities have confiscated 900 boxes of coffee laced with Viagra.Oh yeah, nothing like Viagra in your coffee to get you up in the morning! Though Viagra is legal in Malaysia it still requires a prescription. The company, which was raided by Kuala Lumpur health ministry officials, was believed to be selling the coffee and Viagra concoction as an energy booster.

Psst I heard if  it is successful, they were going to rename all the Malaysian Starbucks, Star…. ah never mind!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!