Tag Archives: manhattan

Can Anyone Decode Gibberish?

computer woman 2I knew it, I knew it, not all those court stenographers are typing every damn word. Well, not the alcoholic one from Manhattan anywho. The dude was busted for writing ” gibberish” during more than 30 trial cases. His notes included such great repetitious gems as “I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job” or he simply hit random keys which made no sense. Unfortunately several “high profile” cases are now in jeopardy thanks to his drunken ways. Awks.

Psst Surely someone proof reads the transcript after each trial?

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Filed under Whoops!

Muslim Couple 911 Pranked Over 150 Times

Can the person who keeps prank calling 911 and sending police and fire fighters to a Muslim couple’s apartment in upper Manhattan friggin quit it! For nearly two years Mamadou and Assetou Sy have have been the target of over 150 prank calls. All the calls are made in the middle of the night and each time they have to open the door to either a cop or a firefighter and explain that …. no there is no one injured…..nope there is no fire…. or sorry, there was no gunfire coming from the apartment. Unfortunately both departments by law have to respond to the pranks!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

McDonald’s Cashier Lays Into Two Female Customers

Well that’s a PR nightmare right there! Chaos reigned at a  Manhattan Maccas (Mickey D’s for American readers) when a cashier (with a criminal past) started laying into two female customers with a steel bar after they jumped the counter following  a confrontation over  a $50 note.

The injury tally –  Woman 1 cracked skull and broken arm . Woman 2 deep lacerations.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt

Granny Gets Trashed

Here’s the thing granny, chucking your newspaper in a Manhattan city trash can is an offence and a $100 fine, so pay up biatch!  The moment Delia Gluckin (80) threw her New York Post in the trash a Department of Sanitation agent (who was lying in  wait)  pounced. Armed with a handheld computerized ticket book and a courteous smile the ticket Nazi proceeded to write granny Gluckin an “improper refuse” summons. Sheez, didn’t you read the sign, no friggin household trash …”litter only”. Gosh, the elderly are so insolent!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !

Sleeping With A Rotting Corpse

A coke addicted, out of work artist, Michael Lenahan, has been sentenced to 19 years jail for the strangulation murder of Lorna Santiago. Lenahan, who was living with his grandmother in the Confucius Plaza apartment in Manhattan, murdered the woman during an argument and then spent the next few days sleeping with the decomposing body. He then began surfing the net looking for info on sadomasochism and how to preserve dead bodies. During his trial Lenahan said “I’m far from a perfect person, but I am a good person,” Uh huh, whatever!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

UFO Over New York

No need to panic people but WTF was that hovering over New York? Hmm, look, up in the sky, is it a plane? A UFO checking out the new mosque site? The missing secret  US space shuttle? Some friggin advertising hoax? Dear god, please don’t let it be Independence Day!!!! Witnesses said the objects, which looked like a  cluster of stars, hovered for several hours bringing New York City to a  standstill. Interestingly, the date corresponds with Stanley A. Fulham’s prediction in his new book Challenges of Change, that tentatively predicts “October 13, 2010 as the date for a massive UFO display over the world’s principal cities.” Skeptical loons? Check this out ,  New Book Predicts UFO encounter.

UPDATE : Take your tin foil hats off loons, false alarm. The UFOs are apparently birthday balloons let loose by the Westchester elementary school. Tin foiled again!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never, Whoops!

Bagel Rage At Starbucks

Did I miss a full moon or something? An English professor was escorted out of a Manhattan Starbucks by three cops after she refused to answer one simple question. Would you like cheese or butter on your toasted multigrain bagel?  The barista became so frustrated when Lynne Rosenthal refused to answer the question he refused to place her order. Professor Rosenthal responded by shouting ‘I want my multigrain bagel!’ The standoff ended when the manager called the cops. Apparently this isn’t the first time Ms “stickler for correct English” has made trouble at Starbucks. Her previous antic involved the refusal to order a “tall” or “venti” instead insisting n ordering a “small” or large” cup.

Psst Get over yourself lady, answer the friggin question or go somewhere else.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Ship Found Under Ground Zero

OMG, workers excavating the World Trade Center site have unearthed the friggin hull of a 18th century ship. Seems it was used as landfill when they extended lower Manhattan. Archeologists are currently racing against time to try and preserve the hull as it is rapidly disintegrating after having  been exposed to air and sunlight. Workers say the remains of the ship are giving off a putrid smell, something like rotten eggs.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Assisted Suicide or Murder?

Believe it or not. Prosecutors in a Manhattan court case say their client Kenneth Minor did not murder Long Island motivational speaker Jeffrey Locker, but was simply holding the knife while he ran into it seven times. Oh yes, new information has come to light, including Mr Locker’s financial woes, the purchase of life insurance policies and “recent computer searches concerning funeral arrangements”. They claim Mr Locker paid a complete stranger to help him with an “assisted suicide” because he was in financial ruin. Strange thing is,they may just buy it, the case has been adjourned so everyone , including the judge can review and research the information further.

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Filed under Denial, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Cat Takes Family Hostage

Mother and son, Rosa Davila and Victor Marte are lucky to be alive after their 16lb Russian Blue cat Carmen went friggin ballistic. No seriously, this feline near on had enough with these two. Carmen decided to go for Victor first by launching herself unexpectedly onto him and scratching like a pussy possessed. Mother and son made a dash for it but Carmen was hissing at their heels.Victor made for the bedroom while Rosa tried to herd the beast into the bathroom. After several failed attempts Rosa sprinted to the bedroom too, slamming the door behind. The hapless two had no choice but to ring 911 while Carmen sat screeching outside the door. Twenty five minutes later police and rescuers rocked up expecting to see some friggin bobcat but instead came face to face with Carmen who was still very much pissed.The dramatic standoff ended with Carmen being unceremoniously corralled into her cat carrier. Rosa thinks her kitty’s bad behavior could be linked to a diabetic and thyroid condition diagnosed a few months back. Unable to afford the medication they just let Carmen eat her troubles away.

Psst Carmen will be placed up for adoption after she calms down.

If Carmen only had a Roomba

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, How Embarrassing, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never