I knew it, I knew it, not all those court stenographers are typing every damn word. Well, not the alcoholic one from Manhattan anywho. The dude was busted for writing ” gibberish” during more than 30 trial cases. His notes included such great repetitious gems as “I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job” or he simply hit random keys which made no sense. Unfortunately several “high profile” cases are now in jeopardy thanks to his drunken ways. Awks.
Psst Surely someone proof reads the transcript after each trial?
Well that’s a PR nightmare right there! Chaos reigned at a Manhattan Maccas (Mickey D’s for American readers) when a cashier (with a criminal past) started laying into two female customers with a steel bar after they jumped the counter following a confrontation over a $50 note.
The injury tally – Woman 1 cracked skull and broken arm . Woman 2 deep lacerations.
A coke addicted, out of work artist, Michael Lenahan, has been sentenced to 19 years jail for the strangulation murder of Lorna Santiago. Lenahan, who was living with his grandmother in the Confucius Plaza apartment in Manhattan, murdered the woman during an argument and then spent the next few days sleeping with the decomposing body. He then began surfing the net looking for info on sadomasochism and how to preserve dead bodies. During his trial Lenahan said “I’m far from a perfect person, but I am a good person,” Uh huh, whatever!
OMG, workers excavating the World Trade Center site have unearthed the friggin hull of a 18th century ship. Seems it was used as landfill when they extended lower Manhattan. Archeologists are currently racing against time to try and preserve the hull as it is rapidly disintegrating after having been exposed to air and sunlight. Workers say the remains of the ship are giving off a putrid smell, something like rotten eggs.
Mother and son, Rosa Davila and Victor Marte are lucky to be alive after their 16lb Russian Blue cat Carmen went friggin ballistic. No seriously, this feline near on had enough with these two. Carmen decided to go for Victor first by launching herself unexpectedly onto him and scratching like a pussy possessed. Mother and son made a dash for it but Carmen was hissing at their heels.Victor made for the bedroom while Rosa tried to herd the beast into the bathroom. After several failed attempts Rosa sprinted to the bedroom too, slamming the door behind. The hapless two had no choice but to ring 911 while Carmen sat screeching outside the door. Twenty five minutes later police and rescuers rocked up expecting to see some friggin bobcat but instead came face to face with Carmen who was still very much pissed.The dramatic standoff ended with Carmen being unceremoniously corralled into her cat carrier. Rosa thinks her kitty’s bad behavior could be linked to a diabetic and thyroid condition diagnosed a few months back. Unable to afford the medication they just let Carmen eat her troubles away.
Psst Carmen will be placed up for adoption after she calms down.
If Carmen only had a Roomba