Tag Archives: married

What Happened to Nanny State?

wrongTwo sisters in Devon, England are forced each night to be locked in their rooms and to use a baby monitor to notify their mother if they need to go to the toilet. Reason? Mummy dearest married a pedophile. The council have allowed the new hubby to live under the same roof if the girls are locked up each night ( because he is still considered a risk) and he sleeps on the wall side of the bed so he has to climb over his wife (theoretically waking her)  if he tries something nasty.  Sleep with one eye open everybody. Funnily the biological daddy has a problem with this.

PSSt Not a good time for my auto corrector to keep changing locked  to licked …just saying.

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Filed under Friggin Councils

Move On Ladies, Nothing To See Here

Oh and straight into the “who cares” bucket, George Clooney got married over the weekend. Just in case you hadn’t heard.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass

Hugh Finally Marries Crystal

Hugh Hefner marries Crystal HarrisWell, after a shock breakup in 2011, Hugh Hefner (86) finally put a ring on Crystal Harris’ (26) finger. Following the private ceremony, the glowing bride later zipped off to her computer to change her name on all her social networking sites to Crystal Hefner. Fingers crossed for the wedding night, as Crystal once admitted she had only slept with Hefner once and it lasted “like two seconds”.

Psst Lets just hope the marriage lasts longer than Hugh and lets hope Hugh lives another 20 years.

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Filed under Well I Never

The One That Got Away

My dreams are shattered

It’s official , Kim Jong Um is off the market ladies. After weeks of rumors that the mysterious woman, following the Supreme leader around like a sheep, was his sister, it has been confirmed it’s his missus Ri Sol-ju. Yes, the tubby dictator is married. New rumors are now circulating that his Supreme house wife is none other than Hyon Song-wol, an ex girlfriend that his daddy hated and subsequently forced Ummy to dump.

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Filed under Kim Jong Um

I Hope It Lasts!

A big shout out to Hazi Abdul Noor who got married this weekend in India. Noor is 120 years of age and his blushing bride is 60. Hmm, I can pretty much guess who will be doing the chores around their place. The wedding was attended by over 500 guests, including Noor’s 6 kids who were estatic their dad has found a new wife. Probably so they don’t have to look after him any more.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Paul McCartney Off The Market

Yes, you heard me , Paul McCartney tied the knot today. Third time lucky!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Royal Wedding Of The Year

Dagnabbit, I missed the Royal Wedding of the year. Yep, 85 year old Duchess of Alba has finally tied the knot with her 61 year old toy boy Alfonso Diez in Spain. Olay, olay. The couple, who have had chins wagging since they announced their engagement, seemed happily in bemused  love as they walked arm and arm from the palace after the ceremony. Oh and if you were thinking he’s just a gold digging rat, the Duchess divided her $4 billion fortune amongst her children and grandchildren before the nupitals (just to be on the safe side).

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, You Go Girl!

He Finally Said I Do

Congratualtions Gilbert Herrick, he’s just got married for the first time at the ripe old age of 99. Gilbert, who had been looking his whole life for the perfect bride, said “I never met the right woman until I met Virginia,” Virginia Hartman (86) met Gilbert at a nursing home but they were unable to share the same room until they were married. Now they spend most of the time slipping love letters to each other Sheez, I hope Gilbert realizes what he’s in for when the honeymoon period wears off!  Good luck old boy!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never