Tag Archives: Maryland
Ewh, you know what I hate? When you go to a school library and some fool exposes himself and then ejaculates on your arm . I really friggin hate that! Oritse Ayu from Maryland was arrested after being identified from the Montgomery College surveillance footage. It is alleged Ayu ejaculated on the woman as she was reading then when she turned around he flashed his penis at her. Lucky there is plenty of DNA evidence.
Oh no, David Shigeru Yamamoto Hepner (19) from Maryland died after he leaned out of a window of a moving truck and was hit by a telephone pole. Hepner was with two of his school mates when they spotted a group of friends and he leaned out to wave.
Some poor woman who was minding her own beeswax in a bar in maryland was forced to show her ID after other patrons rang the police thinking it was Justin Bieber underage drinking. Awkward! See, that’s what happens when you dress like a 16 year old boy…. or does Bieber dress like a 27 year old woman? You decide!
Psst Wanna see the Justin Bieber look alike …click here TMZ but don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
Those cheeky devils in Maryland made 15 arrests over Valentine’s Day by getting a police officer to pretend to be a candy delivery worker. Brilliant. Here’s how it all went down, Sergeant Tanya Pfaltzgraff called a group of suckers, who had unserved warrants. She then told them they had been given a Valentine’s present and they needed to know a good time for it to be delivered. Once a time was set Lt. Jennifer Gilbert-Duran then posed as a driver for Keystone Candigrams (hmm, I wonder if the “keystone” pun was intended?) and busted them the moment they signed for their pressie. The biggest hoot about the sting operation was they each made a scheduled time for their own arrest.
WTF Maryland residents, no need for alarm! A Maryland woman was minding her own bees wax in shopping center car park and noticed a stick on the ground. When she went to pick it up the stick bit her. Yep, that wasn’t no stick, that was a friggin cobra! See, I told you WTF. Evidently the 2ft monocled cobra took a liking to her finger and sunk his friggin fangs in it. Bravest woman in the world managed to bag the beast before hightailing it to the Baltimore clinic where they all pretty much said WTF is that. After a major ring around to find someone who stocked friggin anti cobra venom, they had success. All hail the Philadelphia Zoo who had a couple of vials of cobra anitvenom next to the hen’s teeth.
Psst Oh and for any of you who are the least bit concerned about the snake, he is safe and sound in his new abode at a zoo in Fredrick County. Oh yeah and the woman will live too. Win/win.
OK, here’s the thing homeless man, if you are going to steal an airplane, you got to get it off the ground or it kind of defeats the purpose. Calvin Cox stole a plane in an attempt to flee a Maryland town, but he didn’t even get it airbourne before he crashed it on the runway. He was later found in the woods.
Psst For all you plane enthusiasts, the plane he stole was a Piper Super Cub.
Oh for the love of god, will you stop feeding the friggin vultures lady! Marie Ripley has been feeding the 60 or so scavengers ground beef and chicken breast since last year and the now the buggers won’t go away. Neighbors are furious that the birds of prey are just hanging around and make themselves at home. Nothing worse than vulture shit on your cars, people! Hmm, well on your deck, roof and outdoor furniture ain’t particularly pleasing either! Ms Ripley, from Laurel in Maryland, said she only feeds them to stop them going through her trash. Geez, what sort of rotting carcasses do you have in your trash?
Anywho, I decided to research vulture poop so I could be truly ill informed, and people guess what? That ain’t what you should be friggin worried about, check out what Wiki had to say “Vulture stomach acid is exceptionally corrosive and enables them to use their reeking, corrosive vomit as a defensive projectile when threatened. Vultures urinate straight down their legs; the uric acid kills bacteria accumulated from walking through carcasses, and also acts as evaporative cooling.” I’m sorry but I have to draw the line at cleaning up vulture vomit. Friggin ewh!
Psst Oh and if you were wondering why local authorities haven’t got involved, wildlife regulations in the area only prohibit the feeding of bears. I suppose they should be thankful for that small mercy!