Tag Archives: Massachusetts

Exhibitionist

Here’s a question for you… should a man who has a chronic issue with masturbating in public be kept in prison after he’s completed his sentence? The man in question is Donald Sauve, who has been repeatedly caught flashing his tackle and slapping his sausage in public and spent numerous times in and out of prison for his habit. Despite Sauve’s actions being gross and disturbing, it hasn’t been of a violent sexual nature nor has he ever touched or approached anyone during his little solo sessions. However, prosecutors in Salem, Massachusetts, want to use a special law aimed at  “sexually dangerous persons” to keep him behind bars indefinitely. Yay or nay?

Psst Hmm, I’d just send him to Washington where all the other wankers are!

5 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !

Shark!!!!

You know that shark you saw in Somerset cove that sent you running from the water with the theme of Jaws playing in your head? Yeah about that, seems someone was playing a prank. Yep, the fin turned out to be a piece of Styrofoam cut in the shape of a shark fin, wrapped in gray duct tape and weighed down. So you can all quit ringing 911, thanks.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never, Whoops!

Tinkling The Ivory

I don’t know loons, it seems to be a week for famous piano discoveries. In Massachusetts a psychic has lead diver’s to Babe Ruth’s piano (or what’s left of it) at the bottom of Willis Pond where it was rumored  he had tossed it during one of his infamous parties.Meanwhile the world is abuzz with what could be the discovery of a  piano played by  Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in Germany. When the 1775  fortepiano built by Christian Baumann came up for auction, a music historian had a sneaky suspicion it was the long lost piano Mozart played during his stays in Strasbourg. If the piano can be  matched to an historical oil painting, well then, hello millions!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

She’s All Yours

OK, here’s the thing Massachusetts man, we have not yet reached the stage where it is  a bartering society, so no, you can’t trade your baby for beer or cocaine! Police charged Matthew Brace with reckless endangerment of a child after it was alleged he offered a convenience store employee  his 3 month old baby in exchange “For two 40s”. Which usually means beer and/or crack cocaine.  Happy Fathers Day, daddy!

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Filed under Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Lord Jesus Christ Hit By Car

I should used the lake!

Holy crap, some woman has run  down Lord Jesus Christ with her car. No, I am serious, he was crossing a street in Massachusetts when kaboom! Not to worry Brittany Cantarella, you’re not going to hell but you will be charged with  failing to stop for a pedestrian using a crosswalk. The 50 year old man from Belchertown is indeed legally called Lord Jesus Christ. Geez, I bet he got teased at school! Anywho, big sigh of relief he will rise again.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

You Want a Piece of Me?

Take that you bastard!

If you are going to attempt to mug someone in Fall River, Massachusetts, I suggest you avoid 66 year old women wielding rocks. A woman who had been warned about a suspicious vehicle hanging around a park decided she would pick up a rock for protection. Well, lucky she did because before she could say bippityboppityboo a man tried to grab her. Well a big Kaboom to him. She belted the would-be kidnapper in the face several times with the rock sending him running to his vehicle with a bloodied face. Mugger 0, Granny 1.

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, That's Gotta Hurt, You Go Girl!

And They Are Off to a Good Start.

A newlywed couple have spent their wedding night in separate cells of a Massachusetts jail thanks to the bride trying to run over her hubby’s ex-flame. Marissa Ann Putignano-Keene spotted the woman and her son in a parking lot and decided it was a good a time as any to run her over. Oh and how is this for a twist, guess who was sitting beside her in the car? Hubby of course. Mugshot wedding photos…nice!

Psst Can’t wait to see where they are going for their honeymoon!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Would You Like A Needle With That?

Don't know, something about a prick!

It takes more than two hands to handle a whopper, it takes a cast iron throat. Oscar Chaves is suing Burger King after he claims  he ate a needle . Chaves alleges when he and his son-in-law went to Burger King chain in Massachusetts he bit down into his double whopper and on the third bite he felt something go through his throat. It wasn’t until he was rushed to hospital did he discover he had a 5cm needle  protruding from his tongue. The needle, allegedly hidden inside his burger, damaged his esophagus and left metal in his stomach. For eight weeks he had a swollen face and endured months of testing. Despite a request for  Burger King to  pay his $15,000 medical bills, he heard diddle squat from them until   December ( over a year later) when they said sorry  and asked for the needle back. Mr Chaves was later offered a $5,000 settlement which he kindly declined.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Don’t Eat Chili and Drive

OMG, Eric Gremm, a lumber truck driver, claims the reason he accidentally drove his truck into a Massachusetts home was because…wait for it…he choked on chili from Wendy’s and was knocked unconscious. Geez mister, are you suppose to eat while  driving? Mr Gremm said he began choking after he drove over a bump and the chili got caught in his throat . Brilliant.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Deadly Fire Hose

An 82 year old Massachusetts woman Gertrude King was in the wrong place at the wrong time when a firetruck chucked a left and wiped her out with it’s fire hose. It is believed the hose had come loose and was dragging behind the engine when it whacked Ms King on the back of the legs while she waited on the median strip. Sadly she died two days later.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, Whoops!