Tag Archives: masturbated

Welcome To My Lair

OK here’s the thing sick little puppy, if you are going to flash your genitals and masturbate at a little kid, don’t invite the police into your house if you have friggin child pornography stuck on your walls and bedhead. Sheez, show some decorum! John  Kohler admitted to exposing himself and possessing pictures, videos and files of child pornography after inviting the cops into his apartment .

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

I Hear It’s Good For The Skin?

OMG, one of the biggest problems with going to  a chiropractor is you have to lie on your stomach making it easy for someone to masturbate on your back without knowing. Iowa chiropractor Dan Duffy has been charged after it was alleged he masturbated on a patient during an examination. The victim claims she heard him unzip his pants and then heard the sound of him slapping the salami. Following the ordeal she went to police and had her lower back swabbed and low and behold, chiropractor sperm. The DNA matched Duffy’s but he is adamant he is innocent.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Wanker In The Workplace

OMG, OMG, OMG, Michael Lallana has been charged with jerking off into a female colleague’s bottle of water TWICE and each time the poor soul drank it. Ewh, ewh, ewh. It is believed Mr Lallana snuck into the woman’s office and masturbated into her water bottle which was on the desk. She told police after drinking from the bottle she had felt sick and had thrown it away. The second time it happened she kept the bottle and had it tested. I suspect she went a little pale when told the water contained semen. After a DNA check of staff  Mr Lallana was arrested.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never