Tag Archives: masturbating

Another Dick In The Hall

naked-manUgh, a 72 year old substitute teacher got sprung (allegedly) spanking the monkey in the school hallway.That is an arresting right there. The teacher was caught by another teacher who saw him on the ground and thought he was hurt . Unfortunately, she realised a little too late that he wasn’t, he simply had his hand down his pants. Well, that can’t be unseen! CCTV footage revealed he’d been perving on students prior to his little indiscretion.

5 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

Every Single One

Oh my, why are all these pages stuck together?

Oh my, why are all these pages stuck together?

A word of warning to anyone contemplating masturbating in libraries. A man from Wisconsin has been banned from  “all the libraries on the face of the earth.”after he slapped his sausage one too many times in a public library. The ban is part of his bond. Sheez, doesn’t he know you can go blind?

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Irony Of The Week

Actor Fred Willard, who was caught doing a Peewee Herman in an adult movie theater yesterday, has a new film about to be released, and believe it or not, it’s called “The Yank”.  Hmm, seems the sequel was released first ..Yank 2

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!

Fifty Shades Of Grey Driver

Naughty boy

It’s bad enough when a truck pulls up next to you while you’re naked and masturbating in your car , but even worse when the arresting officer finds a toy pistol sticking up your butt and another contraption tied to your genitals. I think you should put Fifty Shades of Grey down right now mister!!!!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Masturbating At Zellers Will Get You 15 Days

Masturbating in a cubicle, and you?

Ever wanted to know how many days you would get in a correctional facility for masturbating at Zellers department store in Charlottetown? Evidently 15. Oh come on people, the 51 year old was doing it in a closed cubicle in the men’s toilets for crying out loud!!! Moral of the story is never open the door while your hand is still on your penis if  a security guard knocks and asks you what you’re doing.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Oh my, Connecticut prison officials are pushing new laws to have masturbating inmates labelled sex offenders. Hmm, what could possibly go wrong? Seems its become quite a sport to whip it out and slap the monkey in front of prison guards and counselors, especially if they are women. If the legislation gets passed 5 years could be added to sentences of inmates found guilty. Officials say the behavior isn’t about sex but about power and demoralizing someone. Evidently last year there were 500 incidents at one prison alone.

Psst Hmm, so if it isn’t about sex, why do they want to label them “sex offenders” maybe it is better just to call them power, control freaking wankers ?

Want sauce with that?

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Naked Meltdown for KONY 2012 Founder

As you may have noticed I have avoided writing anything about the global KONY 2012 campaign as it seemed to be doing alright on its own. Hmm, but slap me down and call me Susan, I woke up this morning to the news that the co-founder of Invisible Children (the charity responsible for the viral KONY 2012 campaign) Jason Russell has been arrested for masturbating in public. Dude, really?

13 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never