Tag Archives: masturbation

Breakfast Cereal Was Designed For WHAT?

Put your spoons down loons and walk away from your Cornflakes…NOW. Apparently the crunchy little flakes were created by Mr Kellogg to stop masturbation. I know , right! It was marketed as “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”. Mr Kellogg, who was a Seventh-day Adventist believed that sex damaged the mind and soul, thus poor Mrs Kellogg was exiled to a separate bedroom. I bet she became one Frosted Flake.  They never consummated their marriage, choosing to adopt their children. Hmm, sounds like a Cocoa Puff.

He even wrote in one of his books that masturbation caused  mood swings, bad posture, acne, epilepsy, palpitations and a fondness for spicy food. OK, boom, there it is…Fruit Loop.

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The Sound Of One Hand Slapping

It’s a war out there, a war against masturbation, evidently. Hmm, and I thought love was a battlefield….


Filed under Well I Never

Swine Flu is Discriminatory?



Malaysian doctor Dr. V. M. Palaniappan believes he has a sure fire way to avoid the swine flu, quit the masturbation and homosexual activities people. You heard him, quit it! The good doc says these types of activities cause the body to develop friction heat, which in turn produces acid that can make the body hyperacidised. And hyperacidiation is bad, plays havoc with your  immune system and therefore makes your body more susceptible to H1N1 infection.OK, I know what you’re thinking, wouldn’t heterosexual sex have the same result. Nope, according to the good doc that is safe! Hmm, obviously it doesn’t cause enough “friction heat”. Oh but boys and girls who are in the high risk category, that’s the masturbators and the gays, Dr Palaniappan recommends coconut water as a way to prevent acidity. Good to know!

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